Work: Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that...

By darkangel7410 - 22/06/2016 08:37 - United States - Lafayette

Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 434

You deserved it 2 575

Work

Best teeth in the game

Hiding from the drama

Thanks, great feedback everyone!

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 17:10 - United States - San Diego

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 749

You deserved it 3 048

By fatty milkshakes - 29/01/2013 22:56 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 085

You deserved it 9 152

By mylove - 01/05/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 916

You deserved it 12 743

By ihatelaura - 15/05/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 071

You deserved it 5 593

By BaMiTsAnYa - 16/09/2013 01:21 - United States - Orlando

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 094

You deserved it 12 821

Rampage

By emmalou - 16/09/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 93

By Milo - 02/06/2015 16:50 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 3 281

By KWM - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 110

You deserved it 38 987

By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 14:26 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 254

You deserved it 8 687

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 205

You deserved it 46 031

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 141

Who said life was better before ?

By none - 17/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1 p.m., smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4 a.m., jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 118

You deserved it 46 161

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 381

You deserved it 5 490

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 961

You deserved it 5 218

By Michelle - 17/10/2013 11:51 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 636

You deserved it 5 605

By katiebird - 16/03/2016 20:51 - United States - Durham

Today, my father informed me that I will have no chance of dating a good man if I keep up with these interracial relationships. And that he won't be supporting me through college if I continue this "rebellion." My boyfriend is half black and loves the same music, sports, and movies as my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 542

You deserved it 2 014

Medication shutdown

By Anonymous - 29/09/2011 09:46 - United States

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 805

You deserved it 4 943

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 04:48 - United States - Rocky Mount

Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 938

You deserved it 3 344

Private everything, always!

By Unemployed - 31/08/2021 16:01

Today, I received an e-mail telling me the job offer I got last week was rescinded. Apparently, the memes I share on my Instagram page are "tasteless" and don’t fit the company’s values. I forgot my profile is public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 1 662

By Tiak - 30/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 107

You deserved it 16 721

By time to lawyer up - 20/02/2014 21:20 - United States - Forney

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 365

You deserved it 52 836

By loueb17 - 15/02/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 126

You deserved it 9 697

By tenniemo - 11/06/2018 17:39 - United States - Green Valley

Today, I’m pet-sitting for my parents while they’re on vacation. So far, one cat has projectile vomited all over the living room, and another has pooped in their bed. Twice. My parents were not concerned when I called, and said this is normal behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 766

You deserved it 284

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 923

You deserved it 3 876

By workerbee - 09/08/2019 12:00

Today, because of a miscommunication with my boss, the furniture I was renting during my summer job was taken back by the movers. I still have a week of work left and nothing to eat with, and nothing to sit or sleep on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 120

By sickatwokr - 30/06/2015 20:26 - Australia

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 834

You deserved it 1 837

Stuck

By muddygal - 25/06/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 158

You deserved it 3 801

By Pookaa - 05/10/2011 23:48 - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 497

You deserved it 8 195

By nzkristy - 03/01/2010 10:59 - New Zealand

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 260

By Anonymous - 02/05/2014 19:51 - United States

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 680

You deserved it 4 438

By JSF1234 - 11/05/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 031

You deserved it 3 516

By okaydisarray - 04/07/2015 02:31 - United States - Dayton

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 2 786

By Smart - 16/09/2011 14:42 - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 535

You deserved it 3 115

By steph - 31/05/2016 20:12 - United States - Helotes

Today, I was trying to go for number 2 while drying my hair so that my boy friend won't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 2 689

By Nutty - 16/11/2018 22:00

Today, I finally spent the night with a new guy after recently ending a 3-year toxic relationship. The new guy disappeared for 2 hours in the middle of the night, then came back to bed. Turns out he was busy snogging my housemate. I really choose them well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 715

You deserved it 518

By emilygreeny - 18/06/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 445

You deserved it 56 988

By cbrocks - 16/10/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 105

You deserved it 3 865

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 973

You deserved it 3 990

By Kortnie Peterman - 02/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 440

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Top comments

MidnaLink 33

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:37

They're seriously judging you over the car you drive? Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

Tripartita 44

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 18:01

I feel you OP, and I've received similar complaints. Why do people take an issue with my Radio Flyer brand vehicle?! I'm a great puller and make REALLY good engine noises!

SOILEDIT 51

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:33

Well that sucks. Maybe look into getting a Chevy? hehe

creedfish 21

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 19:53

Ram! :P

virginiamuncher 2

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 21:24

they both suck so who cares.

lovinglyfe 9

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Saturday 25 June 2016 14:41

Fords are built stronger.....fords the way to go. Chevy sucks

MidnaLink 33

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:37

They're seriously judging you over the car you drive? Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.

LARC_UoGuelph 8

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Thursday 23 June 2016 0:52

Technically 2 people are feeding each other. It is not a free lunch for the uber driver or the passenger. One has to drive and one has to pay.

ImAFaker 29

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Thursday 23 June 2016 2:25

You still pay for food... The saying still applies

ham_spam 17

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Thursday 23 June 2016 4:31

Pretty sure that saying applies to the hand that feeds you as in your caregiver so no it does not appl

ham_spam 17

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Thursday 23 June 2016 4:35

Apply my phone didn't want to work

MidnaLink 33

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Thursday 23 June 2016 4:37

You pay for good service and then complain, that's biting the hand that feeds you.

Shadowvoid 33

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:40

Some people just can't afFord a luxury car. No big deal, if anyone with half a brain reads the review, you'll be good.

darkangel7410 17

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 19:33

Oh it's less others reading the review and more random unfair ratings. Like you said not everyone can afford a luxury car. However, Uber works off of a system where if you drop below a 4.6 rating regardless of why you were rated under 5 stars they stop giving you as many fairs, so you stop making as much money and if you stay under that rating for 3 weeks the drop you from their systems...Basically fire you.

MidnaLink 33

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 19:56

All for being under a 4.6???

mrsmikelowrey 15

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 21:20

Rate the rider and appeal the complaint. That's a ridiculous reason.

TheRealStunts 27

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:41

Wow. What a little cunt. I hate people who shit over other car brands. They all have their own pros and cons. Just because you dont like it doesnt make it a general problem, assholes.

MetalxSoldier 26

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:42

Well then he should have drove his ford instead of waste your time. That is an asshole move to hurt someone's job because of a personal opinion.

HoboMeth 32

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:44

They're probably just trolling

llamingo 8

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Thursday 23 June 2016 4:39

It would be funny I agree except that they gave him a 1 star rating which will actually hurt the amount of money he makes. So that makes it not a funny joke

soodytheboi 23

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:48

That's dumb. Fords are pretty nice.

jelrid 30

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Thursday 23 June 2016 0:09

I drive a pre-2008 vehicle manufactured by Ford Motor Company. I love it. Ford has been making excellent vehicles for a hell of a lot longer than 6-7 years, #18

Dreeves66 15

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Thursday 23 June 2016 13:19

My 1962 Ford Galaxie is also an nice car. Ford's been making great vehicles for decades and decades, not 6-7 years.

lxXPandemicXxl 7

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Thursday 23 June 2016 17:10

7.3 litter powerstoke. Need I say more? That engine was made pre 2008

dirtyE30 1

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Saturday 25 June 2016 6:36

Fords blow. Like literally, does no one remember the tires blowing up on the expeditions?

freddygasman 18

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Friday 1 July 2016 10:10

that was fireboom,ooh my bad firesyone not Ford's doing.

beantownchivette 8

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:52

If they get to their destination alive, the passenger has no reason to shit on your choice of car

Shmatterhorn 38

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Thursday 23 June 2016 5:17

Some people want to ride in a luxury vehicle and not some random domestic car that might be like the one that they see all of the time. In other words, they are being jerks.

Colon_Man 17

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Thursday 23 June 2016 17:11

Agreed. If someone wants to ride in a luxury car, they can call a limo company.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 17:59

ha ha that's awesome, I don't like ford's.

MAT1218 7

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 22:09

#loser

mezochan 29

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Friday 24 June 2016 18:35

Here, ladies and gents, is probably the asshole who would fuck over someone's livelihood because he has an opinion on cars!

Tripartita 44

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Wednesday 22 June 2016 18:01

I feel you OP, and I've received similar complaints. Why do people take an issue with my Radio Flyer brand vehicle?! I'm a great puller and make REALLY good engine noises!