Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
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Top comments
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
sometimes a romantic bath with your hand is all you need
alex1432 9
Next time just tell her to suck your dick in the moonlight...
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Comments (96)
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
one word. lol.
Diabla_ 2
that's three words.
MrIndycysive 2
Lol! That's 1 Abbreviation. 3 Words. xD Fayul
ajfraser 3
lol
jess2gd4u 0
she's not cool. sounds high maintenance!
YourWetDream 0
Wow tough break fella. Maybe just a romantic dinner for two next time.
detolicious 2
she'd prolly have something negative to say about that too.
YourWetDream 0
Well if she's a bitch, probably. haha but it would avoid the slimy water situation.
detolicious 2
she does sounds like one. or she's afraid of the swamp monster, in that case dinner should be fine.
brewedintexas96 0
^win
YigalElohev 2
What a bitch. Should have held her head under the "slimy" water until she stopped kicking. Ha. Dump her snobby ass.
starile 20
Really? Just because she doesn't wanna get inside a slimey bath? I don't see how she was being unreasonable at all.
RavenXRampage 1
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that 29 wasn't really serious about the drowning the girlfriend thing, and IMO yeah, she was being an unreasonable, snobby bitch. Since when the Hell do a few bath beads make the water 'slimy'?! Jesus.
blinks 0
take the warning sign now dude this is one girl who won't ever be pleased. I would have though oil bath was a good idea. also she's dumb as batshit - sorry.
cueevilthunder 0
Drain the water with the bath beads and fill it up again with plain water?
meintx 9
she's a bitch. I'd love a bf that did that. ;)
iheartglasses 0
Am I the only one that now sees an FML coming soon from the girlfriend saying something along the lines of, "Today, my boyfriend took a bath with bath oils without me cause I didn't like it. Now I have a boyfriend with skin smoother than mine. FML." Then comes all the comments about him being gay and people saying dump him. OP, good thing you didnt waste that awesome opportunity to relax! Now you got to work on getting your girlfriend to relax. No one wants an up tight significant other
skyeyez9 25
I haven't bought bath beads in a long time. This fml reminded me that I need to get some more!