This actually made me laugh out loud. Good one :D

An extremely dry mouth and rough tongue.

or the purring

and a rough hand

That made my day :D

It was a mixture of morning breath, dry mouth and plaque tongue.

Nah he just wanted pussy.

Only after spending the night together.

Thats exactly what i was thinking....that cat is talented....in a creepy sort of way....

You should see how awkward it is when OP wakes up and says "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my girlfriend." He then asks the cat to continue.

Just so much pussy down there

He is into pussy...just not the type you might think. ;-)

"DAMMIT FLUFFY, NOT AGAIN!"

Story time! A friend of mine used to babysit a two-three year old whose dog had some weird obsession with male genitalia. The dog once ripped the baby's diaper off and before he could run, proceeded to lick his penis, which the kid quickly realised felt good. He started pulling off his diaper all the time and calling the dog over to get it to give him oral. Poor girl had no idea how to tell the parents that their dog was sucking off their son.

@93 I think I laughed harder at your story than the actual fml.

didbyou miss the part where he shouted OH MY GOD? I didnt see him telling his kitty to keep licking...

it could have been an OH MY GOD of joy when he thought it was his cat. but lets hope not.

#5: I know most people have a problem with bestiality, but most zoophiles truly love their animals. Bestiality is generally forcing the animal to have sex, or forcing yourself upon it, but zoophilia is the gentler version where the animals can do what they want and they aren't -forced- into anything. I know I'm going to get a ton of shit for this comment simply because I'm different, but I'm tired of hiding it. I just want people to stop being so ignorant (not saying #5 was) about sexual attraction to animals. It's not like we can help it. And it's certainly not ALL animals, either... Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

No, it just means that he might have been having a very strange dream

Yep! That's the reason the boyfriend shoves tinsel down his boxers?

Yes.

Nope not at all

I don't think that makes him an asshole. He just wasn't expecting it so he was caught off guard.

Cn u pls not tlk lyk dis?

You really had to spell "that" like tht? I don't think he is an asshole. It was the first time that they spent the night together. He probably thought it was the cat because he isn't used to waking up to her.