Today, after my landlord commented on how rarely I drink milk, and I joked that I'm "probably going to die young" because of it, I immediately remembered that her 35-year-old husband died last year of a heart attack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML
Today, I had a heart attack. At the hospital, the doctor compared my heart to a stressed out 60 year-old's heart. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML
Today, I was telling my fiancée about my Hashimoto's symptoms when my MIL to-be said, "You must be drinking too much alcohol. My aunt had a goiter and it only swelled when she drank, usually bourbon or beer." She then walked out of the room, perfectly content with her "diagnosis." FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
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Top comments
Oktopussy 13
How does your landlord know you rarely drink milk. Is she living with you?
Martine624 23
Honestly I find the fact that your landlord knows how much milk you (don't) drink a little more disturbing than your slightly misplaced joke... FYL OP!
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Comments (43)
writerchic85 26
I think it's been long enough that an obscure joke like that wouldn't be connected to her husband
berkeleyjake 13
why does your landlord know your milk consumption habits?
pks2014 10
It means go and drink her milk
lizlafluv98 10
That'll make you live longer
leogachi 15
@20 Most people become lactose intolerant because they drink much less milk than when they were younger or they just stop drinking milk altogether. If you keep drinking milk, your body will (in the case of most people) still be able to process it.
mariri9206 32
Unless he got a heart attack and died because of a lack of drinking milk, this is so not an FML.
Witchylady 18
Why is she so concerned with your milk drinking habits, and what does not drinking milk have to do with heart attacks or dying young?
melanielovejeff 15
I don't drink milk. I live off of water. Milk is over rated. It's been proven that water decreases the chances of breast cancer and that milk is linked to breast cancer. This is only one example. There are so many other ways to get calcium and vitamin D...etc
Shade1982 21
As far as I know, there are close to no positive reasons for adults to drink milk. All the beneficiary effects only work when you are still growing. That doesn't necessarily mean it's bad for you though...
vikky538 29
Whose got milk