Miscellaneous: Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards...

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 206

You deserved it 328

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

Empathy lives

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By jbthedude - 05/08/2011 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 907

You deserved it 4 569

Stained

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 162

By Anonymous - 07/07/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 779

You deserved it 8 982

By pissed - 07/07/2016 18:39

Today, I got offered an interview for a job after months of unemployment. It's a 3-month contract 3 hours away from where we live. My boyfriend's reaction was to tell me to move out and take our hamster with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 819

You deserved it 1 126

I'm totally wired, can't you see?

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 20:00

Today, because of my new job, I'm so tired I can’t think straight anymore. Long hours to make a sterling first impression? Nope. I haven’t even started working yet, I’m just exhausted because it all stresses me to the point I can’t sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 21:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 688

You deserved it 2 155

By Anonymous - 26/03/2015 10:16

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 580

You deserved it 2 721

Venmo me

By Anonymous - 03/09/2020 14:01

Today, my mother-in-law called to find out how the first week of school went for the kids. She spent most of the call complaining about her husband. I'd like to send her a bill for her trying to use me as a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 198

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 3 044

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 126

You deserved it 24 511

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 834

You deserved it 3 896

By fml9124 - 31/08/2019 22:00

Today, it's our 32nd wedding anniversary. Two weeks ago I caught a cold on an airplane. Since I got back, she hasn't kissed or let me touch her. I'm still coughing. She says maybe it's not a cold, maybe it's TB. She's left to stay in a hotel until I get better or die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 155

By daenerys stromboli - 28/12/2013 18:11 - Ireland - Navan

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 926

You deserved it 4 668

By girlfriday - 11/06/2009 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 024

You deserved it 3 505

By SebastianMiko - 09/11/2012 07:18 - Canada - Calgary

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 984

You deserved it 2 298

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 152

You deserved it 3 053

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 05:05 - Thailand

Today, I was trying to get to my boyfriend via public transport in Thailand. He was giving the driver instructions through my phone when my phone went flat. I am now alone in the passenger seat of a car, next to a creepy old driver, no idea where he is taking me, and I don't speak a word of Thai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 5 503

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 764

You deserved it 2 081

By JasonX0656 - 29/01/2017 06:00 - United States - Kalamazoo

Today, my fiancé asked me to do some manscaping. I got a little overzealous and now I look like a 12-year-old boy with razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 663

You deserved it 1 538

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 107

You deserved it 3 216

By potatoes - 17/01/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 258

You deserved it 30 867

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 357

You deserved it 4 648

By FrickingBusDrivers - 22/05/2015 01:55 - United States - Farmington

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 814

You deserved it 2 273

Run run run!

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 424

You deserved it 3 622

Panic stations!

By Anonymous - 12/12/2021 05:00

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 970

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 184

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 15:48

Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 713

You deserved it 979

By embarrassed - 11/11/2011 15:17 - Canada

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 598

You deserved it 124 035

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 08:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 256

You deserved it 5 565

By Anonymous - 31/01/2013 05:40 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 087

You deserved it 38 132

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 10:00

Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, whom I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 590

You deserved it 1 605

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 11:29 - United States - Westwood

Today, as I was getting x-rays of my arm, I heard one technician ask another, "Are you sure those are hers?" At 17, I have weaker bones than my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 909

You deserved it 1 081

By benz1369 - 12/05/2016 22:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 073

You deserved it 1 538

She definitely won though.

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 15:00

Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 566

You deserved it 757

Do as I say…

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 00:30 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was admonished by a supermarket cashier because my mask had slipped below my nose. So had hers, actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 332

By CassyM - 03/04/2017 10:00 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, my 2-year-old asked for cake, so I told her I would make her one. I showed her two boxes of cake and asked which one she wanted. She picked one and happily tried opening it. She'd thought a fully cooked cake is in the box. Ever tried explaining baking to a toddler? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 450

You deserved it 778

By Anon - 17/02/2012 20:43 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 2 073

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 306

You deserved it 183

By 6u174r_d00d - 10/08/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 979

You deserved it 6 075

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 405

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Top comments

GhostFox 33

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Thursday 20 July 2017 4:11

Pretty sure that the landlord can be held liable for any injuries due to failure to maintain safe living conditions. Time to lawyer up.

Lobby_Bee 17

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Friday 28 July 2017 6:21

Instead of doing his dirty work for him, why not just look for another place to rent? He could possibly sue you for damages to his property.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Send a private message

Thursday 20 July 2017 4:11

Pretty sure that the landlord can be held liable for any injuries due to failure to maintain safe living conditions. Time to lawyer up.

Bloodknight 22

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Friday 28 July 2017 6:41

Actually by not having documented proof from a third party, he's likely only screwed himself because the manager can just claim the damage is your fault for working on it without permission and evict you.

GhostFox 33

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Wednesday 16 August 2017 5:38

If there's any records of OP filing complaints- phone calls, letters emails, etc- then the lack of a third party witness won't matter. Having photographic evidence would also make it unnecessary. If there have been any inspections done to the building- which are supposed to be done routinely- that would be another way to make it unnecessary.