Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I got an unexpected call from my ex who I'd had been missing. He repeatedly called me a whore for having multiple hotel rooms in the last couple of weeks. I had them because I got a promotion at work and have been working out of town frequently. FML
Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KaraShinee 0
how ungrateful
Bobissmall 13
So you spit in her food next time. Or maybe put some "white substance" on the plate, who knows where it could have come from, you are a ***** after all...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
Cinn_fml 23
I'd suggest confronting her about it, but if you do it wrong it could end up disasterously for you, though that mainly depends on the circumstances. Just tread carefully and try and get her to see that she's being an ungrateful cow.
fritz2 0
you're an ungrateful cow.
Cinn_fml 23
I don't understand what point saying that had...
zackkmann21 0
slap her.
zazooftanzania 4
just because ur cooking her food doesnt mean that u are a ***** or nt totally irrelevent
aback 5
If you're still cooking for her, subscribe her to Meals on Wheels, instead. I've heard those are worse than death.
jakeisawake 3
Geez, **** the old hag. Call her out on that shit, and make her start cooking for herself. Anytime she walks by you, you should give her a "bump" to the side, then just ask, "How's that hip replacement doing?"
Jewelofagal 2
Time to call an end to your cooking service straight away. And, have your husband tell Grams that you overheard her calling you a ***** and that an immediate apology plus a complete change of attitude is in order.
meteor_stream 9
Stop cooking for her, and when she confronts you about it, you can say "I'm not cooking for a person who calls me a *****". If that happens when your husband is around, explain him the situation. Wisdom may come with age, but douchebaggery may arrive first.
iheartglasses 0
I would put a little laxative in her food. After my c section the nurses told me the more I moved around, the quicker I'd start feeling better. You'll be doing the hag a favor AND getting your revenge :)
Xythenol 6
Hey she's old, cut her some slack. She might be grateful for you, but not ALL old people are as sweet as some people think. Maybe she's just naturally grumpy? Or maybe she just doesn't like the OP
nikkired 0
Old people can be so much fun.