Work: Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out...

By Clutz - 25/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 422

You deserved it 35 898

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 41 957

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 414

You deserved it 1 292

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 570

You deserved it 13 141

By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 211

You deserved it 8 404

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 12 978

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 9 308

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 3 307

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 186

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 181

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 256

You deserved it 3 399

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Comments

ItsAshxD 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:39

Ouch. D:

cassdede 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:12

that just made my day

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Itsu_fml 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:47

Oh dude I've done that but it cut my cheek. That was a fun one. DX

DuhthatsObvious 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 12:33

You suck as much as OP's vacuum.

HamsteronA 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 18:02

^^^^ win!

owlcityislove 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:48

PWNED.. sorry.. that sucks.. :/

MagicMeds 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:55

"So what?" button please!

onlysoph 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:58

Why? I'd say cutting your lip open counts as an FML

anniemarie 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:03

haha so..that's kinda like today, I got a papercut. FML no one really cares...

prettyboy82 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:19

You shouldn't be a moron and yank a cord out! Common sense says it's coming back to where it was yanked from, in this case right toward YOU!

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

nyuu1234 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:26

Wow u hurt your lip who gives a crap

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:29

Get a Roomba! It doesnt have a cord and it does the vacuuming for you!

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The Top

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 422

You deserved it 35 898

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 044

You deserved it 5 156

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 368

You deserved it 5 105

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 209

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 884

You deserved it 7 374

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 2 753