Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
DontGuessMyName 5
You guys aren't very encouraging. Being told how much you suck doesn't motivate you to change. And if it does its not for the right reasons. Although OP, if you aren't happy with your situation, I can tell you that living a healthy lifestyle can be very fulfilling.
satisfication 6
Don't take a bath, take a shower ull burn more calories
AnimeRules1125 24
I guess you could say you are a... fat ass.... *ba dum tss* ... No one?
StOnErBoSs420 2
you should hmu i like that
StOnErBoSs420 2
please send pics i love big sexy ass's