Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML
Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML
Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
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Top comments
I_Hug_Cats 26
Why not hand write it?
datguyuno 5
Or just use paper and a marker
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Comments (237)
cloak057_fml 8
Can believe you still have time to use fml
remz89 3
I didn't know having a baby made u dead. I'm holding my daughter as she sleeps in my arms n on fml....... Ommmmg it's amazing that I have time for this!!!!!!
stormchaser24 24
Wow. There is this sign called marker or pen and paper. Try that.
Okayitwasme 0
Most new born babies sleep through everything. It's when she is 3 months or more that she will start to wake up if she hears loud sounds. Their ears are not fully developed. It's the same with their eyes. They see shapes.
bdathorne 6
I'm guessing you don't know how to write? Because I mean... if you want to make the least amount of noise, a logical person would use a pen or pencil... or am I just giving you too much credit here?
andro6657 10
Dogs are gross, just saying
KiddNYC1O 22
You're insane, just saying.
Okayitwasme 0
Dogs are like people... Some are gross, some are nice. Some smell, some have nice manners. Some don't. The idea about having a dog for most people is to care for it and it cares back. Part of a pack! Stick to a snake, I think that might be closer to your personality.
Okayitwasme 0
Dogs are like people... Some are gross, some are nice. Some smell, some have nice manners. Some don't. The idea about having a dog for most people is to care for it and it cares back. Part of a pack! Stick to a snake, I think that might be closer to your personality.
SignUpisntcool 3
You're gross, just saying.
SignUpisntcool 3
You are gross, just saying
cjhons 16
I always have to put the dog in her room (laundry room) to nap when the babies nap, just make it part of the routine :). Because every day something will make the dog bark between 1-30pm...
sweetdreams20 0
And why would you type that on the computer
jbear380 0
Vice is nice, But incest is best
Lehk 9
hook up a switch so you can shut off the doorbell
TheNinjaBacon 8
U should have just wrote it with marker!