Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML
Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML
Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
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Top comments
I_Hug_Cats 26
Why not hand write it?
datguyuno 5
Or just use paper and a marker
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Comments (237)
mk58 31
And that is why you make hot dogs out of your dogs.
mk58 31
*facepalm* FML is being glitchy.
Yak99 0
Ur doin it wrong
coledude919 0
78) comment matches YOUR profile pic
notoriousbob 11
Are you retarded?
GoW_Chick 15
They were just trying to warn you about the evil printer of doom... DOOOOOOOOOOM!
Awsumuzzie 12
Omg, IS THAT YOU, DUG!?
tonygar 17
I remember those days... Good luck & I hope the both of you get some much needed sleep
sweetdreams20 0
Kennel them when the baby is seeing
sweetdreams20 0
Lol sleeping
sinking_fish 12
Unless the dogs have separation anxiety like my puppy does... They'll never shut up!
sweetdreams20 0
That's your fault for your puppy you have to learn to stop going to him every time he's alone
sinking_fish 12
Uhm, it's not my fault. The previous owners NEVER left the puppies alone. He was so accustomed to it that now that we have him, he has a very hard time adjusting to us being gone sometimes.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Why not hand write it?
Burgess8220 1
I wonder why this wasn't mentioned higher up. Obvious thing to do!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Exactly what I thought first. Sharpies are silent, yet very effective. They're a significant amount cheaper than printer cartridges as well.
409sPoisonGirl 12
Sometimes common sense can evade a tired mother. But yeah, I woulda went with the Sharpie.
ma77 9
Exactly right. I read this and was like "wtf are you using a printer for?"
rikitsumiatsu 11
2 words. bark collars
laurabev 9
Two words; animal cruelty.
JavIin 0
One acronym; PETA. I had to.
thegr8tdbate 4
Bark collars actually just contain a lemon type spray that annoys them when they bark. That way when they bark, it sprays, dogs are smart they put 2 & 2 together and don't bark unnecessarily. It's no different than water and vinegar. I know this since I was looking into behavioral aid methods for my super hyper beagle and there is absolutely no way I was gonna put a shock collar on him. As for PETA I kinda gave them credit for trying but they went a little over the top when they started forty to sue sea world for "enslaving" the orca whales.
HannahWho 8
^Or the big stink they made about Mario (the video game character) having a tanuki suit. -_- Words fail me on how dumb PETA can be.
genesisCCORE 3
Assuming you owned the printer for a while now, you should've known that the dogs will bark when you use it. YDI.
KatieKupcake4195 9
Do what they did on Grown Ups! :D ... Just kidding. That'd be mean :(
sweetpea41800 0
When I read this FML I thought about that dog lol
mistersir123 3
Hand written signs are always nicer
iloveweed69 7
you could of just wrote it out
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
could have.
mistersir123 3
Could have written it out
silvergaze 1
Could HAVE. Learn to write. How do you even pass school?
Blackmail111 9
190 How DID you even pass school. Before being an ignorant ass and repeating the same comment that the 2 people above already said, take a look at your own damn grammar.