Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML
Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML
Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
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Top comments
I_Hug_Cats 26
Why not hand write it?
datguyuno 5
Or just use paper and a marker
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Comments (237)
FairyTales_fml 6
I would get spray collars. They are pricey... Maybe try having a spray bottle near you at all times, when they start just spray away. If baby doesn't get sleep, no one in the house will.
penguin_princess 0
At least you don't have 7 dogs and a newborn like my friend.. And haven't you heard of a paper and pencil?
HunterAlpha1 8
you know, they have these things called no-bark collars...
dogpup4 23
What are they? They don't really sound humane.
HunterAlpha1 8
they're only inhumane if you put them on a high setting.
ChelcieeAnn 4
Use a marker next time.
lizardninja 0
Pen and paper maybe, you coul make it look nice with felt tips, yay!!
danillavanilla 0
We're you seriously to lazy to just write it?
eviloution 2
Learn to teach your baby to sleep through loud noises, otherwise it will end up living in your spare bedroom though it's twenties because it has a helicopter mom for a parent.
JiggyBoo123 11
Are you stupid? It's a "newborn", according to the comment. YOU CAN'T TEACH A NEWBORN ANYTHING, they're pretty much little maggots. Newborns will CRY at loud noises, and they cry very loudly because they're too young to realize how loud they are. She's not a helicopter mom for wanting to not disrupt her newborn. It's impossible to get a newborn to not cry at loud noises. It'd be more practical to get the dogs to stop barking.
HannahWho 8
And not having it potty trained by three weeks old means that she is neglecting the child and it will never get into college. What sort of super babies do you know? I mean, I was talking and writing term papers by one year. Anyone who has a newborn still in diapers obviously did not start its education as a fetus. SHAME ON OP!!!! Idiot.
pandapoof42 3
Uhm... Ever heard of pen and paper??
JadeWalker 14
YDI should have just written it out with sharpie.
philippamh 4
get rid of the dogs, or better still get rid of the baby? joke.