Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML
Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML
Today, I’ve been at my new house for a week. My new neighbour’s dog barks non-stop all day, and their newborn baby cries non-stop all night. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, who had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
Today, our deaf old dog not only barks for no reason while lying comfortably on her dog bed, lacking for nothing, she now also barks in her sleep. And not those dreamy little yips either; full barks, loud enough to be heard in the next room. Which is where I sleep. FML
Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML
Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
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Top comments
I_Hug_Cats 26
Why not hand write it?
datguyuno 5
Or just use paper and a marker
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Comments (237)
emba_fml 13
You could've just handwritten it.
lauramagraham 1
I moved my two dogs outside recently cos I had my second baby. They took to it well. Maybe try it? Congratulations by the way. It gets easier. :)
skyeyez9 25
Depends on where they live and if they bark constantly while outside. If you leave pets out overnight where I live in Colorado, they get eaten by mountain lions. Even large dogs who people mistakenly thought could defend themselves.
Anubis_81 21
You have 3 dogs, why?
Awsumuzzie 12
32, I don't really think you grasped the point of this fml.
dabomb1463 0
Crazy cat ladys are soooo last year :)
Genoc123 5
Look up Funny.
pattipan 7
YDI for having those stupid barking machines in the first place. Your neighbors must hate you. Get rid of those nuisance dogs or spring for a trainer to teach them to shut their goddamn pieholes.
teague95 16
^dick
sweetpea41800 0
Ohhh ya YDI for having a baby too!!! lol jk
pattipan 7
^Don't give a **** why. Barking dogs=nuisance.
GoW_Chick 15
Someone has been sucking lemons
teague95 16
More like someones mommy didn't hug them enough
downtime 13
39, You're a ******* moron for suggesting getting rid of the dogs. I don't care what your opinion is on anything when you actually support the idea of disposing of living creatures because it's no longer convenient to keep them. I pity any idiot who actually takes advice from someone so pathetic. Don't breed, we don't need your loud obnoxious little ***** running around ******* things up further than you already do.
THE_A_TEEN 28
pattipan, you sound like some poor, pathetic, lonely soul who does nothing but go on FML and take whatever OP's wrote and viciously attacks them because "they offend your opinion". **** the hell off, ******...
Shelta957 13
You should shut your own godamn piehole
DocBastard 40
This is when pattipan comes back and says he was just trolling, right? That you were just kidding. Right? No? I guess that makes you man's best friend's worst enemy.
HannahWho 8
I think training them better would be decent suggestion, not getting rid of your beloved pets because they bark. The baby is sure to cry just as much as the dog barks, if not more. Should they get rid of the baby too?
RockinRoyaltyxD 13
Ydi. What? U couldnt have wrote it down?
nabila21 0
LOL i feel bad for u :(
rubberduckie94 13
It's annoying when dogs do that, but at least you know that if someone tries to break in they will let you know. Congrats on the baby. Treasure the baby days, they go by faster than you think.
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Beat those Mutts