Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML
Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML
Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML
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Top comments
TrippingOnAcid 29
Did they work?
askullnamedbilly 33
Your parents saw Q-tips in an ice tray and immediately jumped to the conclusion that you must've had a wild party over the weekend? Either you have some crazily perceptive parents, or I get a feeling this is not the first time this has happened.
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Comments (92)
CoGhostRider 31
Confess you bought them at school
AFCCT 7
There's no holes in that plan...
XTheDesertSongX 17
Q-tips? How inventive of them.
Grimnirwher9 21
"my house", "my freezer", ... "while my parents were gone" - something doesn't seem right here.
paigexox0 37
Yeah but it would sound a little odd to say "my parents house" "my parents freezer". OP lives there, so its their stuff too
WhisperSoflty 20
I dunno, I think 16 makes an interesting observation. OP could have just as easily phrased it as "my parents' house" and "the freezer". By using the possessive "my (insert item here)" OP shows a slight entitlement mindset, emphasized by the content of the FML. Either way, OP is a moron by throwing a party behind their parents' backs.
D_Zan 2
I disagree, if he lives their he's part of the house and what's communal in the house. That's what family is for and all. That's not entitlement or anything, it's normal. But I'm glad he got caught. Sneaky assholes deserve to always get caught. I don't even understand this mindset. It comes up in American movies a lot but I seriously don't get it. Maybe you can't have drinks in the open but most parents will let kids have parties and you're planning to clean up anyway?!
graphicstyle7 17
Did you have a great time at the party? Is the house still standing? Eh, it was worth it : )
Ilovemysphynx 19
Save them for your next party or enjoy them while you're grounded. (assuming you're in trouble now)
teresa96706 29
If it really is your house, and your freezer, why are your parents mad at you? Unless you mean your parents house, and you live with them, therefore under their rules. Are you a broke college student or someone to young to be on this app/website?
KiaKarma 11
I still live with my mother at the age of 18. Does that mean I'm too young to be on this site? Maybe too young to be drinking, but not to be on FML.
HeyTherexxx 21
20- I think OP is under the age of 21 and still lives in their parents house which /they/ had purchased.
HeyTherexxx 21
Edit: They might've viewed throwing the party (regardless of his age) as disrespectful and irresponsible. Either way, he's in trouble.
littlekellilee 45
I'm 26 and live with my parents while my condo is getting built. Even in my big drinking days I never had parties at the house, nor did I let people stay over, because they said they were uncomfortable with it.
DeadPixel4 29
Why so many YDI's. It's just a party. Who doesn't wanna have a little fun in life?
45thTBirds 7
It's a combo FYL and YDI. It's pretty funny lol
frizz101 22
A party is fine, except when you're probably too young to legally drink and you have it at your parents house without permission.
Courtelizab 18
It seems like half the people commenting were never young. Loosen up your corsets a little!
brandoneyez1 25
No such thing as a perfect crime.
highjesus 6
well thats ******* you're just at home drinking some whiskey with beer flavoured ice xD but i feel sorry for you OP .