Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I was home alone in the dark and I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it was so I didn't answer. They kept ringing, so I got a bit scared and called the police. When the police showed up, they told me it was a Chinese delivery guy with the wrong address. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML
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Top comments
lollercoaster 0
im Chinese. i used to work in a Chinese restaurant. i loved this fml. if i were that Asian man in the elevator, i would have been highly amused. laugh a little, people. the world needs it.
eddiesuniverse 5
beyond hilarious
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Comments (35)
lehna555 0
haha that's funny. I also think it's funny when people get offended by that stuff. Live a little, forreal.
erictuong 0
WOW thats racist and im asian ......
SunDevil88 0
ur an a$shole and im chinese!
shaniqualee 2
Since it's pretty clear your retarded, here's what you should do. Go to McDonalds, order a big mac for your fat ass and kill yourself. Kill yourself now.
Tsukasa_fml 0
It must be a large building if it has an elevator. That's a lot of neighbours to get to know.
ridikulous 0
ur clearly a douch. ur response to aaron's response was terrible. "so there." wutr u 12?
Squit_fml 16
"but the moment you start assuming stuff about people based on a single unproven criterion like appearance or sexual preference or whatever" That's PREJUDICE you're describing, not racism. Racism is the prejudice that your group is superior to others. Get your story straight.
vreaulamata 0
thats not an fml - thats a good one!
Yllohazn 0
LOL, your a JA. i'm asn though i find that pretty funny.
cars819 0
ikr I completely agree. in NYC especially, if you live on park ave in those riculously expensive apartments, it's mainly white. umm hello?! the Chinese are filthy rich too