Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
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Top comments
Hgielad_720 0
On a serious note, anyone can be stupid, regardless of their hair color.
krushr 3
Are you suggesting that being absent-minded means you're dumb? Maybe you really are dumb.
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Comments (93)
starile 20
Who pours themselves a glass of juice "in victory"?
fakkumairaifu 14
I don't know, but I like the sound of it. Anyway, I can't count the number of times I've done this. The worst is when you have two things out and put them away in the wrong places, and then you come back later to find frozen-solid chocolate syrup in the freezer and melted ice cream in the cabinet.
LaL26 4
blondes...=p
starberries 0
Chocolate syrup goes in the refrigerator.
Illyssa_fml 4
Haha! Actions speak louder than words
oliver86 8
don't feel too bad I've put tissues in a fridge
careface1337 0
blondies are stupid, now u knw it;-)
xohockeyfreak10x 0
this sounds more like an MLIA.
HBIC37 0
I agree.
valri3 0
Way to go!
iltby 3
I'm sure everyone has done something like this at least once. Who cares?
pompousjackass 10
I've put the kettle in the cupboard and the milk in the oven before... so don't worry, it's not just a blonde thing ;)
lmtl30stm 0
Lmaoooooo I love this
twi4eva789 0
it's people like you who give blondes a bad name -_-