Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
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Top comments
Hgielad_720 0
On a serious note, anyone can be stupid, regardless of their hair color.
krushr 3
Are you suggesting that being absent-minded means you're dumb? Maybe you really are dumb.
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Comments (93)
phorest 0
No #66, blondes are the slutty ones. Brunettes are the hottest ones.
Hgielad_720 0
Damn straight!
evig_fml 16
71 and 73 your both wrong as attraction is an opinion. In fact some men don't even like blonde woman or any woman at all.
parasword 0
It is an opinion, but blondes being undesirable is a fact. Besides, since it's recessive in a few generations blondes won't exist anymore, and thank God for that. :)
Hgielad_720 0
But what about the bottle blondes? :/
Hgielad_720 0
But what about the bottle blondes? :/
redbluegreen 41
Of course hair dye will be in the future. I'm waiting for selective DNA to come out where you can "design" your future child by intelligence, health, and how they'll look as well. It's only a matter of time before you have genetically designed blondes.
evig_fml 16
126 you are wrong sir, blondes are actually preferred at least on a semi-conscious level. iv read studies showing that the blonde hair of females during cave man times was to stand out among the other woman and as a natural human thing cave man went easy to find=easy to mate making them better semi-conscious partners.
5t3ff1k4h 47
172 - I don't believe that for a minute. I've seen more guys attracted to a brunette (usually for a relationship rather than a hookup) and less guys attracted to blondes unless they wanted a one night stand or a fling. Anyway, I'd like to think that no hair colour is "preferred"... Hair colour doesn't dictate personality or whether the person will make a better lover.
Doopliss01 0
'And poured myself a glass of juice in victory' YDI
parasword 0
Because of genetics blondes aren't going to exist in a few generations, and thank god for that!
yuggi1 11
errm... I almost threw out my glass plate into the trash can.
LFAM_fml 0
EL OH EL
eatshitplease 0
why did the blonde jump out the window..? to see if hr maxi pad had wings. HAHAHAA O.o
BelleBelle_fml 11
It's retards like you that give smart blondes a bad name.
eddieyes 0
I love blonds
parasword 0
So you have no taste?
spanelli 16
You must not either.
GlaoigharAirm 0
Typical AMERICAN moment, being blond(e) has nothing to do with it.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Yes. Because all Americans are stupid.
AlvaTheStarvingA 0
Well, YDI OP. Mainly because you were debating over something so idiotic. Oh, and because you poured yourself a glass of juice in victory. I mean, juice? Really? On a side note: My teacher said that maybe I'll finish college when I'm 16. I'm brunette. :) Just saying.