Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
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Top comments
MissSatan 16
Casually get up and say "and that, my friends, is a perfect example of what not to do"
CrikOgresmasher 19
Should've pulled a Willy Wonks and pretended it was on purpose
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Comments (64)
cailey1234567890 24
Well Good luck convincing your class to respect you now
killer0689 20
she will surely have a hard time.
ethan_unoxx 29
Ouch.
foxwasalamb 24
two comments? really?
horneyhic 15
Well atleast your not a walking coach
killer0689 20
that must have been fun for ur students
BlueConverse 7
your*
catanita 18
After this you could have said: This can happen to anybody of you if you're not careful every step you make, as is it were a demonstration lesson.
steveykinz0967 16
Well at least you aren't their walking coach
False_Stupidity 42
Lesson 1. Watch where you're going. Lesson 2. Pool safety, why we don't leave bags lying around.
trey600rr 22
lmfao that is awesome!
lesley3r3 22
And before we swim we shall start with health and safety rules around the pool ;)
Rajni_dev 12
Tell them it was a demonstration about safety