Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, there's a moth in my house, who either does nothing, or flies around like it just ate enough sugar for one lifetime. Every time I see it, I think it's a wasp and, being deathly afraid of them, I go into a full-blown panic attack until the sight of it bumping into light bulbs brings me back to reality. FML
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
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Top comments
triplethreat13 0
haha i love how you worded the FML. quite humorous.
Imawhalerider 0
knocked its lights out
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Comments (94)
InsideJokesRock 0
You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you?
InsideJokesRock 0
You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer are you? You aren't the brightest light in the store either.
CourtneyDanielle_fml 9
dead moth/light - 1 you - 0
CaptainSarcasm 0
Now would you like it if you were standing on a hanging light and a moth hit you with a shoe? I didn't think so.
thejoz 0
I realize that moths aren't exactly cute and cuddly like, say, kittens are. But I don't understand people who seem to want to kill moths. Really, catch it, put it outside. It's not going to bite or attack you, and all it wants to do is live a peaceful existence fluttering around and stuff. Shame the entire light didn't come down on your callous and idiotic head.
zoolander951 0
#43, it's too bad they eat your clothes. And they unnerve many people. Also, it's very hard catching them. Finally, you don't want to hurt a moth, but you're ok with a person getting seriously injured? Hypocrites like you annoy me.
waterynuggets 0
Wat. If moth is in my house, it's dead. It should gtfo then if it wants such a peaceful life. LOLZ
hazel_rain 0
Actually, I am perfectly okay with a person getting seriously injured over an animal. I hate people. And I've never killed a bug on purpose and I freak out if I do.
cosmolilly 0
People who are afraid of bugs are stupid. People who can't catch moths are stupid. And people who hit lamps with shoes are stupid. That is why we'd rather she get hurt than the moth.
zoolander951 0
#53- when the bug-apocalypse comes, I'll watch out for you #59- people, in general, are stupid. so are bugs.
DameGreyWulf 1
I agree zoolander, even though I think the OP should have just left it alone. I had a "pet" moth in my room. He died. Then, a smaller one that looked sort of like him came about. I call him Junior. Neither of them have ate anything... moths are pretty dopey anyway, so it's not like they last too long. But yeah, god damned hypocrites.
iFruit 0
At least it wasnt at your friends house or something!
jittle8 0
lol "canada". im not suprised.
iFruit 0
And you know what, everyone? Stop complaining about how cruel OP was for torturing an innocent moth when OP could have just put it outside. Sure, OP could have done that; but Im sure that all of you have killed countless bugs, including moths, in your lifetime...
Escapist28 0
I don't think anyone's accused the OP of being cruel or torturing the moth. Most people are saying that you shouldn't hit light fixtures with shoes (solid advice, by the way), or that it's not much more effort to put a glass or jar over the moth, walk it to the door and let it go outside. And that way there isn't a mess where you squished it. I'd recommend that next time, OP. The little thing was just looking for a place to go, not trying to annoy you =) I did enjoy the imagery, though.
insomniabuddy 0
I moderated this. ;P Hope you're okay...
ayylash 0
The light fixture slipped gracefully through the air? I find that difficult to believe. Therefore, I call BS.
timtam24 0
baha