Intimacy: Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam...

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 17:59 - United States

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 35 745

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Same thing different taste

By unluckybirthdaykid - 11/09/2017 23:15

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 520

You deserved it 428

By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 449

You deserved it 15 963

Come together, right now

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 13:00 - Canada - Stratford

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 427

STI TMI

By Anonymous - 17/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Cumberland

Today, at my physical, I found out that my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me 4 months ago was not only cheating on me, but had also manage to catch chlamydia and give it to me. I'm now dating someone else, so I had to explain that I've had chlamydia for 4 months without knowing, and he should probably get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 258

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 573

You deserved it 3 326

Just in case

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 07:39 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 424

You deserved it 5 166

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 14/10/2017 06:00

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested positive for chlamydia and that I needed to tell my partner. Yeah, sex ended real quick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 953

You deserved it 9 398

By sexyfreak2510 - 03/09/2009 06:47 - South Africa

Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 311

You deserved it 51 924

Sparkiee93 3

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:24

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. You won't get sick if you cover your dick. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey. Don't be silly, cover your willy. Before you attack her wrap your whacker. Don't be a loner cover your boner. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRAP IT JUST GO HOME AND WHACK IT

Babushka_Homyak 10

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:49

That is ****** up. Get new friends.

Comments

cp354609 8

Sunday 15 July 2012 8:56

At least it's not something you'll have for life. Take the pills for a week and don't tell anyone. It's not the end of the world.

SJRsooner 17

Saturday 1 June 2013 6:28

This is why Alcohol is bad, and seriously a stripper? It's not even cool not to remember you birthday, and now you have this for the rest of your life. Wow. Just wow.