Work: Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice....

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 14:36 - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 3 889

Work

This Charming Man

Compromises

Come on man, make an effort

By dinosaurboy - 06/02/2010 20:01 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 632

You deserved it 5 438

By mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - 03/09/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 994

You deserved it 2 199

By jack - 08/10/2012 18:36 - United States - Mcnabb

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 920

You deserved it 2 525

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 2 936

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 620

You deserved it 38 937

By justwantsomeillusionofjustice - 14/08/2017 07:00 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I stumbled across my school bully on Facebook. She's a successful business owner and engaged to be married. I can't land a job and am hopelessly single. The b***h that served as the catalyst for my depression and suffered no repercussions is getting married on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 032

You deserved it 675

By Nice Guy - 29/10/2012 07:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 5 183

By Whyme? - 28/04/2016 02:39 - United States - Hackensack

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 484

You deserved it 1 703

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 04:37 - Canada - Kinburn

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 516

You deserved it 10 812

The receipts, the tea

By over and over it - 19/03/2021 16:30 - United States

Today, I found out a guy I used to date is trying to get me fired from my dream job. He found an old flip phone with a text argument we had nearly 17 years ago. He wants me punished for things I said when I was an angry 15 year old-kid. HR is now looking into the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 94

By anonymous - 05/09/2012 13:51 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 917

You deserved it 37 702

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 21:10 - United States

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 5 571

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 391

You deserved it 915

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 969

You deserved it 12 576

By Socarates - 18/02/2011 21:07 - Ireland

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 5 675

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 06:58 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 3 122

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 16:02 - United States - La Grande

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 075

You deserved it 11 241

By S.Bunny - 22/01/2010 08:14 - United States

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 947

You deserved it 44 407

By Jordan - 30/04/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, my favorite song came on and I started playing the air guitar and head banging to it. I didn't realize just how close I was to the chair next to me and went face first into the metal back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 37 351

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 87 000

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 023

You deserved it 9 018

By fatface - 13/04/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 052

You deserved it 3 756

By satanlovesme - 30/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 767

You deserved it 8 324

By T-Pain - 22/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 307

You deserved it 7 079

By Me - 19/11/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 2 143

By popeye - 25/02/2010 15:18 - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 049

You deserved it 5 333

By Abandoned - 15/02/2010 07:28 - United States

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 801

You deserved it 2 443

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 21:50 - Puerto Rico - Arecibo

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 678

You deserved it 18 767

By Aiaiii - 03/06/2010 07:55 - Germany

Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 431

You deserved it 36 671

By lolographic24 - 13/02/2010 13:44 - Norway

Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 292

You deserved it 4 124

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 242

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 4 637

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 462

You deserved it 31 910

By guamfml - 03/06/2009 00:10 - Guam

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 193

You deserved it 10 905

By (-__- ) ( ^.^) - 11/10/2013 21:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 826

You deserved it 6 301

By Nearly Crashed - 27/05/2013 13:42 - United States - Lake Hiawatha

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 382

You deserved it 9 066

By fml - 04/08/2018 20:30

Today, I noticed the results of my hair growth vitamins. It's been a month since my bad haircut, and I've seen some definite growth... Everywhere except my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 313

By Freelman - 06/05/2015 14:34 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 200

You deserved it 44 255

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 361

You deserved it 4 664

By panicromanceX3 - 26/04/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 836

You deserved it 63 341

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Top comments

Cinn_fml 22

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:16

Or maybe she was just trying to be funny? If not, either reevaluate your life and figure out if it's her or you. Or just talk to her and ask.

TheJaQ 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:16

Perhaps it's both...

abcnonamecba 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:14

that sucks!

thecool444 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:16

This fml is stupid. I would point out the flaws but I'm on my iPod so someone please do it for me.

imaginaryvoice 18

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:25

You should talk back as Pooh bear

hate_spoons 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:11

lol this is funny:)

ifyouseekamy666 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:12

wut if she just likes eeyore? gosh...

iSitt 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:44

always assume you're being insulted. always act like you're not.

greatnt249 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:02

#34, what does that even accomplish?

KingDingALing 9

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:15

It's time for a bitch slap! :D

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 23:02

uh........

josh5634 0

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Thursday 23 September 2010 0:53

39, nothing. :)

willou35_fml 13

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Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:28

yep

shaannonwilding 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:15

LMFAO. this made my day.. also second? :)

TheJaQ 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:16

Perhaps it's both...

A_Khalifa 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 22:21

Perhaps this is not a legitimate fml

Cinn_fml 22

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:16

Or maybe she was just trying to be funny? If not, either reevaluate your life and figure out if it's her or you. Or just talk to her and ask.

TheJaQ 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:21

But if she really is sad and pathetic then asking her might tip the scales toward depressed and suicidal.

lajaynay 15

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:22

Though reevaluation is a good idea if OP is sad and pathetic, I'm not sure how this is an FML.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:38

My first thought on this was maybe it amused her so I'm glad someone else considered that. I used to mimic Eeyore just because he sounds funny.

Cinn_fml 22

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:08

TheJaQ, I figured that too, however I'm sure the OP might be able to subtly get a few snippets that will allow her to give her an inkling, I wasn't meaning she directly ask.

5up3rTAN 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:21

hah I think it's you !!!!

zafeer 0

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Friday 24 September 2010 5:11

your wierd

JeNaiRasLeBol 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:24

this is not an FML. -_-

guckylynn 19

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:33

Agreed. I hate the FML posts like this one!

Person1233 12

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:30

Should have said "I'll stick your tail back on your ass ;)."

raygers1018 0

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Thursday 23 September 2010 5:54

You are so cool.

bwfc83 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 19:33

What the hell is an 'Eeyore' voice?

greatnt249 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:03

*Facepalm* Either I'm getting old at the ripe age of 23, or the generational gap is even bigger (and worse) than I thought.

Subtext 10

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:32

I didn't know that either. Then again, I've never read or watched Winnie-the-Pooh...

Trollz4daLULZ 1

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:47

It's a voice like Eeyore. Hence the term "Eeyore voice". Glad I could help!

greatnt249 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 22:43

Either way, YouTube/Google are your friends.

WYK_fml 0

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Thursday 23 September 2010 1:06

Never?! BLASPHEMY

Telinaa 0

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Thursday 23 September 2010 2:31

If you've never read or seen Winnie the Pooh, or don't know what it is, for that matter, all I have to say here is... No. There are no words to describe your sad, sad little lives. ):