Intimacy: Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over...

By Username - 05/08/2011 14:05 - United States

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 235

You deserved it 69 695

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Same thing different taste

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 112

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 121

You deserved it 2 591

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 068

You deserved it 5 414

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 795

Damn, son

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 4 182

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 137

By xxx - 03/09/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 670

You deserved it 530

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 282

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 3 238

By myparentsarehoes - 03/08/2009 16:33 - Canada

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 322

You deserved it 5 767

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

...well done, my friend. Well done.

Weetart 8

Friday 5 August 2011 18:50

ohhh you deserved to be there in the brawl.

Comments

fluffinmycup1 0

Friday 5 August 2011 18:58

How is that an fml u should be glad u only got that rather than some broken bones

_Number9 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

"Today, some ass decided to start a rumor about me and my "********** problems". FML" Doesn't that seem more reasonable?

randomness45 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

How is this an fml? The guy was lucky

rezzel 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

sounds like a win to me

reddawn85 8

Friday 5 August 2011 19:00

Man Card revoked.

iAmScrubs 19

Friday 5 August 2011 19:01

"What did you just say about my dog?"

ambowew 7

Friday 5 August 2011 19:08

Which one?

ThatsSOBforshort 2

Friday 5 August 2011 19:01

Wow...just wow.....

stevenb8 0

Friday 5 August 2011 19:04

You had a chance to be in a bar fight and you left. What the **** man

sourgirl101 28

Friday 5 August 2011 19:15

IKR. I know people that stir shit up just so they can throw a few punches around. (:

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 5 August 2011 19:04

Sounds like a scene in a movie.

Mr_Chow 5

Friday 5 August 2011 19:07

Your a prick to be fair

hotPinklipstick 24

Friday 5 August 2011 19:10

Mr Chow!!!!

Keywords

Kids Parenting Cute Mysterious Transportation Sleep Argument Dogs Animals Weird Injury Health Sexism Miscellaneous Pranks Dad jokes Awkward Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Work Anxiety Cats Fight Am I overreacting? Relatable Bodyshaming Love Mental health Insects Boredom

The Top

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 509

Today, I was having a passionate conversation about video games with a friend in our school cafeteria when I leaned back in my chair as I empathized a point. I leaned a little too far, tipped over, and ended up sprawled out on the floor, still trying to finish my point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 360

The Top

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 187

You deserved it 110 248

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 4 674

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 487

You deserved it 2 247

Who could stay mad at that face?

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 79

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 152

You deserved it 6 172

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 659

You deserved it 2 594

Same thing different taste

Demon drink

Damn, son

You're grounded!

Fun for all the family

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