By Fml4evr - 22/04/2018 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 226
You deserved it 6 010

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i need to see this youtube video

how do you get so drunk that you end up deciding to break up with your boyfriend ?

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how do you get so drunk that you end up deciding to break up with your boyfriend ?

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

That's your focus? Not the fucking ostrich?

The ostrich was a distraction. You lose. Retry? Quit?

In vino veritas.

Sounds like a rerun.

i need to see this youtube video

I tried searching "Frederic ostrich love" on Youtube, but all I found were videos of ostriches fucking each other.

This sounds like an alarmingly high mound of bullshit to me... I can't think of anywhere in the UK (I also live here) where a sober person, let alone a drunk one can buy an Ostritch

You guys have farms, right? I have family in the UK that raise alpacas. And they're not even the weird ones.

You can "adopt" sanctuary animals online by sponsoring them remotely. In return the sanctuary usually sends pictures of the animal and keeps you updated on how they're doing!

So, is Frederic now wandering around in your backyard?

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Where and who can you go to drunk off your ass and someone sell you an ostrich?

Now you can make a very huge omelette