how do you get so drunk that you end up deciding to break up with your boyfriend ?

In vino veritas.

Sounds like a rerun.

i need to see this youtube video

Link please

This sounds like an alarmingly high mound of bullshit to me... I can't think of anywhere in the UK (I also live here) where a sober person, let alone a drunk one can buy an Ostritch

So, is Frederic now wandering around in your backyard?

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Where and who can you go to drunk off your ass and someone sell you an ostrich?

Now you can make a very huge omelette