Intimacy: Time consumed

Time consumed

By unendowed - 18/03/2012 02:11 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

agreeclassic 30 442

vote type 1 11 709

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Messy girls

By tLee - 19/07/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

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By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

agreeclassic 13 102

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By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

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By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

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Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 2 470

vote type 1 789

By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

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Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

agreeclassic 5 072

vote type 1 690

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

agreeclassic 49 783

vote type 1 19 627

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:20

Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.

H_Brazell09 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:22

Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.

Comments

bioman250 10

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:10

Shaving your crotch is for women and pansies.

AgentSmith79 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 18:10

Who wants hair in their mouth? Shaving is for any guy who likes getting a bj.

Jhoe899 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:12

This was her way of trying to get u to lose those pubes

zakkcarter 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 16:12

shave bro

skyeofblood 1

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:07

SHAVE BRO! SHAVE!

docfan91 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:26

Dirty mouth? Try orbit's new

fetalmatter 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:31

Try to shave bro

gerble 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:35

orbit? dirty mouth

handsfree 2

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:56

That is disgusting. Shave next time!

Gutmann 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 17:57

Were you never told to shave that?!

badactor009 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 18:05

I have been around the block a time or two but that has never happened to me. Was the head worth it?

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Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

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Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

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Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

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vote type 1 2 028