Today, I’m recovering from an accident. My boyfriend wanted to get it on, but I told him I couldn’t as I'd had a major spinal injury. He replied, "But you have a mouth, though stop with the excuses." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, I went dirtbiking. While I was going down a hill, I spun out of control and flipped over my handle bars. I now have a sprained arm, multiple bruises and a crescent-shaped gash on my neck that looks like I was bitten. People are asking if my boyfriend and I were being frisky last night. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML
Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 44
Okay, someone needs to be put in their place. Here's some options: 1. Punish him by denying him any romantic contact for a LONG period of time 2. Tell him to go ********** 3. Get him a pussy pocket 4. Threaten to bite his dick (or actually bite his dick 😈) 5. Break up with his selfish ass He's very disrespectful and feels self entitled. Please grant your peace and don't hurt yourself at the expense of your boyfriend's selfish behavior.
BurnInDemonFire 35
Shoulda bit it off...
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Comments (15)
Jesse Duff 15
get rid of him now, he's selfish as shit and only cares about his pleasure...within a week, I guarantee he'll be cheating on you and saying it's your fault for not being able to meet his needs
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23
Anyone who won't stand by you and comfort you when you are hurt- and with what sounds like a scary injury, won't stand by you at all. I had a boyfriend that was similar. even if I was so exhausted from work that I fell asleep he still felt I was obligated to give him sex. He later tried to kill me. Just say NO!
brockwaycc 3
“And if you can’t **** that day baby, just lay back and open ya mouth” - Nate Dogg. This just made me think of that song sorry. **** that guy. I hope you recover soon 👍🏽