Love, Health and Dating: That's kinda sweet

That's kinda sweet

By rond9 - 06/06/2021 04:01

Today, after spending the night with my girlfriend for the first time, I discovered why she would always want to rush home after dinner dates. Her stomach gurgles so loudly after eating, I can hear it in the next room over, with the TV on. This apparently happens no matter what she eats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 143

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Same thing different taste

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 190

Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 126

Grossed out

By tiaox - 04/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 254

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

All bunged up

By julie ugly - 30/11/2021 07:58

Today, I tried a new medicine in hopes that it would stop my stomach from constantly growling. Turns out, my body can either digest loudly, or not at all. I’ve been full for three days after one regular-sized meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 109

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 598

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 724

You deserved it 17 288

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 437

You deserved it 4 059

Foreplay

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 164

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 17/05/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 194

slkeithh 14

Sunday 6 June 2021 5:39

Poor girl. I hope she gets a professional opinion from a doctor, that sounds extremely uncomfortable and very abnormal. Could be a GI disease or IBD. Definitely worth a doctor visit, and I hope you didn't judge her for it!

jc1015 25

Sunday 6 June 2021 10:03

sounds more like a **** her life because she's gotta deal with your whiny insensitive ass along with a possibly serious health issue.

Comments

slkeithh 14

Sunday 6 June 2021 5:39

jc1015 25

Sunday 6 June 2021 10:01

feeling sorry for the girl as well and it sounds like he's judging the hell out of her...poor pitiful little boy can't concentrate on his tv show 🙄

jc1015 25

Sunday 6 June 2021 10:03

sounds more like a **** her life because she's gotta deal with your whiny insensitive ass along with a possibly serious health issue.

no0ne0890 29

Sunday 13 June 2021 12:32

I mean it would probably be a deal breaker for me for the most part. not because I care about things of that nature as well as farts, burps, etc. but because if it happens during sleeping time I would never sleep ever again. I already have trouble sleeping I can lay in a comfy bed for hours with my eyes closed and tired but I won't fall asleep unless it's dead quiet and pitch black and even then it takes a while for me to go to sleep.

Lydmyers 9

Sunday 6 June 2021 11:19

The poor thing. :( A someone who has similar ailments, this would be incredibly difficult for her both physically and emotionally. Don't make a big deal about it, and provide her comfort as she needs it. She will appreciate you so much more, for it.