Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML
Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
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Top comments
debo123 0
Sorry to hear that but atleast you found out BEFORE u married him
onigiriqueen 0
You could also buy a strap-on fireman.
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Comments (159)
debo123 0
Wow u need a STRAP ON
c00lsk8erboi 7
srry I posted to be at the top but when u r in "the throws of passion" hold him down and u yell out "CAN PABLO DO THIS!?"
suppepz 0
yeah
MrsDruidess 23
no she needs a new man
Arestian 14
this sounds like a comedy movie xD
onigiriqueen 0
You could also buy a strap-on fireman.
RoryStorm239 0
^^^ EPIC WIN
Razman201 14
HaHa TV References =P
debo123 0
Sorry to hear that but atleast you found out BEFORE u married him
ZoeyAngel29 0
u mean HIM
Laci_Laine 0
Ha ha ha! I always fall for gay guys too!! I have no idea why... Only the ones that are still pretending to be straight tho of course
kitkat98_fml 0
because gay guys are awesome and amazing!
Shshshar_ssscene 0
Ouch I know that sucks had the same thing happen to me :/
WhiteBoy_fml 0
Bahaha, love the diction/syntax here... It's not all that funny, but your last sentence: sold it.
Noah_h 0
Ahaha strap on maybe??? LOL FYL
Yulia_fml 0
I enjoy these FML's about faulty fiancee's. It shows that there is justice in the world by people discovering these things before the expensive wedding.
RitzyHoke 0
Maybe he's bi?
humanrefutation 0
Maybe he's bisexual? Have you considered that? I mean, it's still wrong that he wasn't more upfront with you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy heterosexual sex.
awesomeamandas 37
there's a number of reasons he hasn't told her yet. fear of rejection, being uncomfortable with it yourself, not knowing how to explain it, being afraid you'll be hated, ect. ect. yeah, you should tell tour SO about something like this before the fiancé stage, but I can understand how OPs fiance might feel about opening up about something like this.