Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JackWood 21
It makes no difference to him how far back it goes as long as it's all in. You just pretend and throw in a fake gag once in a while.
Anderling 33
Ouch. Nobody won this round.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
lexxiasaurus 31
🤣🤣if he broke up with you because his manhood was ruined, just know you made the whole restaurant staff I work with laugh and it made their day including mine🤣🤣 thank you for that!
Anderling 33
Ouch. Nobody won this round.
Brightside86 31
Man that's a tough situation. Like obvious honesty is important but it's annoying when people use terms incorrectly.
JackWood 21
It makes no difference to him how far back it goes as long as it's all in. You just pretend and throw in a fake gag once in a while.
cuz803 46
THE TRUTH HURTS!!!
RichardPencil 32
Tell him that you are. If he contra-dicks you, tell him to bring over a friend with a big ****, so you can show him what that means.
SJKatt 15
100%, cis dudes need to let their fixation over size go. However, if you want to simulate that feeling you can do so by pressing the back of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, making it feel as if there is less space, or that they are "hitting the back" so to speak.
HokieJ 10
Get him a Swedish made penis enlarger!
Sonotsuave 37
Ugh guys are so worried about size it’s annoying. Idk why it matters that much. It matters to them to be “big” as if that makes a difference. All that matters is they’re good in the bedroom regardless, that’s all partners want