Intimacy: The moment after

The moment after

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 027

You deserved it 57 634

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 753

You deserved it 12 912

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 453

You deserved it 23 294

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 015

You deserved it 33 510

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 574

You deserved it 48 757

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 103

You deserved it 4 928

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 019

You deserved it 14 950

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 166

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 246

You deserved it 8 144

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 18 399

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 885

You deserved it 5 305

kewl92 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 16:07

YDI A) phone sex is retarded B) You should've checked no one's home and not just assume everybody's at work

Evan2297 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:38

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing AIDS.

Comments

alex_vik 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:51

How do you have "amazing phone sex"?

bob1124 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:56

Today, I woke up and made breakfast. I made some amazing french toast, but then my bitch of a daughter had phone sex at the top of her lungs with her loser boyfriend. I had to listen to the whole thing. FML.

genius_man16 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 18:58

Phone sex? wow, really? come on now, if no one is home at either of your houses just go over and **** like real people, jesus.

romaunts 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:03

Yeah, people have phone sex. People travel, or have LDRs, or just can't go over at that point of time to screw. It happens. You talk sexy and usually **********. Don't knock it 'cause you think its stupid- it can be really hot, and intense, and its a good way of connecting. I used to do it with my LD boyfriend, and it was awesome- you get to hear them talk sexy, and get to talk sexy to them, and you both get worked up, and get to hear the other one get off. It's just another means to an end, when you can't physically be together, and is better than getting yourself off alone, without the aid of hearing them. If its not your thing, gtfo.

dikinass 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:19

**** on bitchass

caticaticati 3

Sunday 2 August 2009 19:30

Um, maybe OP (like others have said) couldn't get to her boyfriend's house/he couldn't get to hers because it's a long distance relationship or something, orrr maybe they're like my boyfriend and myself and don't HAVE sex but still mess around... What the hell is wrong with phone sex? And for those of you that are like, "How can it be AMAZING, what the hell?" pretty sure that although someone else getting you off usually feels better, that doesn't mean masturbating doesn't still feel good... sometimes it's great 'cause YOU know exactly what feels good for yourself far better than anyone else does.