Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
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Top comments
babe7260 30
Poor kid will be scarred for life
NavalAvaiations1 5
when I was 10, I would have thought that was awesome!
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Comments (57)
MissWhitneyB 17
Be happy he's still in that stage. Enjoy the innocence because there is only a few children like him left. Enjoy the quality time with each other inside.
Pesticides 19
yeah, some kids are already messed up in the head
MissWhitneyB 17
So true!
cottoncandymango 17
His virgin eyes!
perdix 31
#16, . . . had their little cherries popped in New Yawk City . . . Fuggedaboudit!
Coop817 19
Drag harder
CocaColaPepsi 13
The naked cowboy? Ya he's not completely "kid friendly" and now there's the make cowgirl too! But she's like 60. Fun fact# The naked cowboy sued her for stealing his naked cowboy bit!
XxcaitanatorXx 12
i see him all the time on time sqaure he is really nice to my little sister
fieldhockeygal97 19
My friends and I saw him when we in Times Square; he's cool.
lil_ham1644 29
Same here. He's really nice. My friends and I got our picture taken with him on our senior trip..
pam241 15
Looks like it will be the two of you eating takeout and watching bad movies until he goes back home
Zimmington 21
I was thinking that! Except just the prostitute make OPs brother loosen up
dabum18 5
This is new York That is what it is about
alivak 6
Eh, he'll come around. Sitting in house all day sucks too.
nightlockberries 6
Tell him the half-naked man is really nice! Lol I know who you're talking about, take a picture with him and prove to him there's nothing to be afraid of.
havok87 11
Your brother is a wuss.