Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
babe7260 30
Poor kid will be scarred for life
NavalAvaiations1 5
when I was 10, I would have thought that was awesome!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
thatkidhesh 11
you can safely leave him in your apartment a do what you want. win win.
jonha21 11
Traumatized XD
zonkeymaker 14
NYC is a terrible place....
roachyroo 5
Get the boy some Thorazine and take him to the zoo.
Cazz91 21
Partially naked man?
thew_fml 14
half naked = shirtless? prostitute? what was so scary about her?
venus89 17
Tell him it was a crazy NYC holiday and its now over
kriseliz 9
Poor kid, he's traumatized. Get him some ice cream, rent a movie, and try to coax him out, little by little. Try laughing about what happened, and act like it's no big deal.
sysalis 18
Partially naked man? That's called the Naked Cowboy. He's always at Time Square... Your fault, OP...
LyraAlluse 25
I think New York has this effect on most people who don't live there.