Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
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Top comments
babe7260 30
Poor kid will be scarred for life
NavalAvaiations1 5
when I was 10, I would have thought that was awesome!
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Comments (57)
babe7260 30
Poor kid will be scarred for life
BntyHntrSeattle 30
I kinda feel like it'll be like those movies where at the end of the two weeks he's a total CityBuff and will know all the prostitutes' and homeless people's names. At least I hope he does. While still being safe.
perdix 31
#2, naw, not for LIFE. When he hits puberty, his memory of seeing a ***** will suddenly become a fondle one, um, I mean a fond one.
lexi365 20
There goes his innocence.
NavalAvaiations1 5
when I was 10, I would have thought that was awesome!
Damian95 16
I know, I wouldve been dragging my guardian outside!!!
Sfaizi24 17
#31 you should change your name to "my_comments_suk"
zango1 15
56 - People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Damian95 16
Well, out of 140 of my comments, about 15 have been disliked... so change your name to "Im_an_idiot" and stop bein so rash with stupid statements.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Pfft... countrymice
AngrySailor 17
I was raised in the country, never really felt "sheltered" just "distanced" from that sort of crazy. I've since been to many large cities (the rough parts included), Chicago, Baltimore, Detroit, Toronto and many more. I can't stand it! I can't imagine NYC. I like my hour drive to Walmart and the bootlegger a country mile down the road. The town drunk IS found pantsless occasionally... Over all I'm with OP's lil' Bro on this one!
TheForgetfulOne 12
Can you really blame him ?
Zimmington 21
Yes. I can do anything I want.
QQmore_fml 18
Put **** on the TV I'm sure he would run out the house. Problem kinda solved, getting him back in the house would be kinda difficult.
MysteryGuest214 10
Send your brother home.
Denomic 9
Something is wrong with your brother mate. . .
golden_warrior 23
Or he still hasn't lost his childhood innocence
olpally 33
Lol. Just leave him in the apartment for the day. Don't let him ruin your life for the next two weeks or send him home.
buckdharma 38
#9-Leaving a 10 year old boy home alone in NYC sounds familiar for some reason.
dutch_girl13 20
Everyone get ready for home alone 4. Or would it be number 5?
blackgirllb 12
I love home alone classic.
golden_warrior 23
he is still an innocent boy, which is pretty astonishing in this day and time. Don't ruin him OP
perdix 31
What do you mean "partially-naked?" Was penis visible? That's what is really important. Quit with your cutesy bullshit descriptors and cut to the chase. Staying holed-up 24 hours a day is a viable strategy for surviving NYC. Just bring the little bastard pizza and hot dogs for the next two weeks and ship him back to civilization at the end.
wlddog 14
The irony in this statement is how going to the "big city" means having to deal with uncivilized people. Poor kid.
ApollosMyth 22
Perdix, I instantly thought of The Naked Cowboy when reading the FML. So if I'm right, then he was wearing only underwear. Edit: Someone farther down already mentioned him.