Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML
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Top comments
steviesnm 6
Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Not quite a new Lexus?
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Comments (148)
DalPozzo13 10
Could've been worse..
jerseyboy732 16
Now all you need is some tuna!
ryukk_fml 3
*redneck voice* -Mayonnaise some good surprises!!
cosmosis 12
Derp. Just NO!
desireev 18
I resent that!! I have what you'd call a "Redneck" voice and we most certainly do NOT say shit like that! The accent you're trying to imitate is what they call "Cajun".. To someone from anywhere else but the South, it sounds like mumbo-jumbo.. But we understand it just fine..
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
71- I'm from California and I don't think the Cajun accent sounds like mumbo jumbo... Now I want to watch Swamp People.
desireev 18
I love that show!! I love all the shows like that with the gator huntin' and shrimpin' and cookin'!! I love 'em all!! :)
ladyLALAA 29
Was it Kepi mayo? If it was I'd quit complaining, otherwise put the mayo on his car seat!
ninjuh_wingman 29
Least it wasnt a flaming bag of dog shit.
kateheartswaffle 0
That would've made me love him even more. The little weirdo.
kickuwithmyfist 1
You should go take a dump in he's driveway and tell him "I have a surprise for you too"
kateindeed 5
I think that's kind of awesome, actually. At least he was thinking of you.. And you can think of him next time you make yourself a sandwich.
I_Punch_Babies 7
or make him a sandwich. he gave you some mayo. he deserves a sandwich :D
06rubiandrea_fml 5
Why would he do that in the first place???
EvilLilCupcake 10
Simple. Because her boyfriend is awesome! :D
06rubiandrea_fml 5
Of course! He's a real genious!!
cosmosis 12
For ***** and giggles...
scarpicide 5
Hmm a homeless man must have wandered by and eaten the burger inside. But obviously he didn't care for the mayo.