Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his house. Apparently, I ruined the surprise party he'd planned for me, and now he’s upset with me. FML
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Top comments
steviesnm 6
Do you have a dog? They're pretty good at leaving surprises on driveways also.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Not quite a new Lexus?
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Comments (148)
lolmonster34 0
Your lucky it wasn't another "something special" ;)
Pelreskovich 11
Get a new boyfriend.
profoundkisses 18
Nice one
ArcticPuppet 0
For some odd reason, I would have wanted this. Considering the fact that I'm out of Mayo
Capt_Awesome137 0
Boyfriend left it? Maybe not mayonnaise...
ThomasScott 7
Nice! Lol
Ins_Knie 2
...and at Chick-Fil-A where he works somebody was surprised to find a little bag with rings, earrings and a necklace among the condiments.
night_saint 5
do you eat a lot of sandwiches?
kimmi41509 10
Aw how romantic
acidburnz1107 10
Would you have perfered 30 packets of ketchup? (Big Daddy reference)