Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally told the girl I'm in love with how I've felt ever since we first met six years ago. She let me know that not only does she not feel the same way, she's always considered me a creep and only ever hung out with me because of our mutual friends. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my crush how I feel about them. I poured my heart out, only for them to tell me that they're already seeing someone else. To make matters worse, they then asked me for advice on how to impress their new partner. FML
Today, the girl I’ve had a crush on for months told me she scored a Tinder date and she’s so excited to go out with him. Just last week, I worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and she told me she doesn’t want a relationship, and “doesn’t believe in love anymore.” FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I felt. She instantly burst out laughing and said, "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML
Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML
Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML
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Top comments
trixy81 10
What? Well you clearly dodged a bullet with that one...
rcloca 10
It's unnatural? Oh shit.
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Comments (350)
youcantwin 8
Sucks
sassypants93 17
No... Actually she doesn't.
baseballplaya5 7
Did you ask her for ear sex?
willn98 5
Deja Vu....
ohmandapants 17
So in hindsight, telling her "I want to **** you SO BAD" was probably not the best thing to say to her huh?
SirLongRod 0
Works for me...
alissa222 15
In what world is sex unnatural? Its about as natural as one can get.
redheadedmonster 24
Thank you! Took the words right out of my mouth!
ArielTheMermaid 17
She's weird.....
obamathellama 0
Have you seen family guy? Time for some ear sex.
BitchnPlease 5
AHA... What. Talk about lame excuses a la max.
audgepodge1987 0
Ummm what?? Its "unnatural"?? Thats why 99% of creatures do it (less those who reproduce asexually). Seems like everything in nature gets it except her.
IcyJack 7
Well, maybe she's UNnatural. For all we know, at the end, he could have peeled her face off to reveal an electronic panel with flashing diodes.
desireev 18
FYL dude.. That sucks.. She was looking for an excuse!! You're better than that!!! :)
geon_olam 17
As far as you know op can be an axe murderer.
blazingdaily 3
Maybe she has a moral objection to sex and thinks that anything that enters her body below her waist is a crime Then again, she could be about 8... Or a future nun... Or a ******* pleb...