Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Do as I say, not as I do
deathbunny256 0
How could she possibly deserve this? She was bring a responsible baby sitter by ensuring the kids safety, nothing wrong with that. And this is totally plausible, I don't see how it could HAVE been faked.
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Comments (62)
Sun_Kissed18 25
Do as I say, not as I do
nam3 0
YDI for saying whilst i mean who says that???
DameGreyWulf 1
I do. It's called having a vocabulary. It's likely OP likes to write. Most people I know who use "whilst" are writers (in some form). Ahhh that is one reason why I never go around barefoot. I always have some sort of footwear on. Good for you for going to help the kid, but FYL for doing it without thinking, haha, ouch.
lmmmr 0
People smarter than you.
GmanG 0
FYL :( Irony? You broke it - you were punished for it
FroHo 8
Umm.. What's the difference of 'whilst' and 'while', as I would have probably used instead? Is it the grammar or something? it would be nice if I got an answer, thank you. Greetings from over seas - Norway... :)
Lolbrittany 0
Smooth move, x-lax.
blake116 0
2# mr/mrs Cliché
Lolbrittany 0
#15 mr/mrs didn't-comment-FML-just-user-comment
mekeskidi_fml 0
I hope you didn't curse in front of the kid.
LewJH 0
That really wouldn't of made it worse, whatsoever.
Shyman4ever 0
Great, why weren't you wearing sandals while telling him not to walk barefoot.
Lolbrittany 0
because no one wears sandals anymore >:U
Omgthatsucks4u 0
lol...i do
sublime93 0
Fake
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
What's with all the FMLs using the word 'whilst'? It's becoming the new 'proceed/proceeded'. O.o
humorizer 14
We should make an 'average fml'! Here, I'll try... Today, I was trying to impress my girlfriend, so I proceeded to come home early. An officer pulled me over and didn't like my flirting, and then I lost my key, but I got in, and my dad was cheating with my girl friend. I'm 17, my girlfriend is my age. FML
BadOwner 0
Did you hurt yourself?
deathbunny256 0
How could she possibly deserve this? She was bring a responsible baby sitter by ensuring the kids safety, nothing wrong with that. And this is totally plausible, I don't see how it could HAVE been faked.
Exhumed91 0
#12 is right, props to the OP for being quite motherly
fmlfmlfml15 0
"whilst"? hate to be a grammar nazi but, really?
Broteth 0
'Whilst' is absolutely correct, what's your point?
tarheel22893 0
yep,, its a 100% correct word,, its just more commonly used in Britain than in America
AnnaBL4473 0
1) Whilst is a word and could be correct in this sentance 2) just kidding, my second point is invalid
davidtheday 0
3) You spelled "sentence" wrong :)
waterynuggets 0
4) lol OP: fyl :(
iloveyoumorethan_fml 0
5) I like cheese.
Avaquin 0
lol.