Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I got home from my tour of duty. The first thing my teen daughter said to me was could she have some money, because mom won’t give her anymore since she got caught using her allowance to buy weed. Not even a "Hello" or tears of joy to see me, just a demand for drug money. FML
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
I guess things could be worse?
ComoEsJuan 24
When I was fourteen, I did some crazy things, but hey, I turned out fine. Right? Didn't I turn out fine?! TELL ME I'M PRETTY!
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Comments (261)
ozpunker 20
Why is it that kids can score drugs easier than me?
The_F3rris 11
Because she is a prostitute too.
ileenefudge 29
Because kids nowadays have no respect for elders and those that do discipline their children get frowned upon and are called abusers so kids lack discipline and don't care where as when we were growing up if we did something wrong our parents made sure we knew it and we were scared to do it again. we respect out elders and we care, we are grateful, but many kids now have phones and iPods and they just stand there like "that's it?" It's really sad because kids can get away with so much even with getting drugs and they only get a slap in the wrist.
monnanon 13
thats a bit of a generalisation isnt it. everyone rags on this generation when in reality they arw no worse than any other
allie2590 31
"Nowadays?" Kids have always been getting into trouble. Each generation always thinks it's the worst.
dixiefoxx 22
It pisses me off when I see comments like that. I behave way better than my dad used to when he was a teen. He was pretty much a poster boy for "What not to do". While yeah, I'm 16, I make mistakes, but I'd never do anything my dad did. He was born in 1975, so clearly not in this generation.
hellobobismyname 24
Actually 55, hitting children and "making them scared" isn't the answer. Sure it may have worked for you but it not only makes the child fear doing wrong, but also fear the parents. I used to get hit and whipped with a belt and it honestly never made me a better person. What would have helped was if my parents actually sat down and talked to me and discussed my actions. It's not about making a child fearful, but just being there for them and letting them know they can trust you. A lot of the times kids do the wrong thing because they're too afraid to go to their parents for guidance. Trust is a big thing.
Clioo_fml 17
I hate it when people say "physical discipline" is the answer to well behaved children. If you have to use that type of discipline, it probably means you 1, suck at communication, 2, have no patience with children, and 3, you are too weak to deal with the child vocally.
jeffandjeff 22
Time outs and taking phones away or whatever doesn't work for everyone.
Kalipczo 21
I thought it said "after beating her for half an hour.." But hey at least she isn't a prostitute :3
Kalipczo 21
.
Branflakes78 13
at least she isnt a prostitute? she's 14 doing drugs and drinking!!
Kalipczo 21
I know, but it would make matters even worse if she drank did drugs AND was a prostitute
gc327072 30
That's like saying "dang, my car got totaled, my dad died, and my house burned down. But at least I didn't get stabbed with an ice pick!"
feelingold 18
Is she wearing an anklet from Ghana?
UnluckyGenius 21
Kill her with fire before she breeds!
spaboolly 26
I would certainly hope she is a LONG way from breeding, but then again....
Branflakes78 13
I wouldnt kill her, but if she has children and doesnt change, i would be scared for those kids!
Smoxxii 17
That's child abuse.
doodlecloud 26
At least now you know you can try and do something about it? Make sure she is educated about whatever she's taking. Hopefully that'll be enough to make her think twice but if not then at least she would know about dangerous reactions, what an overdose looks like, what to do when someone overdoses, what it's even more dangerous to mix drugs with, etc, etc...
Offspring_fml 27
Ugh, alcohol is arguably the worst drug.
Senseless_487 29
I'm gonna beg to differ. I'd much rather drink than use meth or heroin. But I'm sure everyone has an opinion on what the worst drug is. For me, it's meth, but I have my reasons, as I'm sure you do thinking alcohol is the worst.
challan 19
Worse then meth or crack? I disagree.
Calaraphea 16
I don't understand why people drink. I personally don't understand the hilarity in drinking yourself into such a stupor you fall over with your dress hiked up to your chest, unable to form a sentence or walk unaided. It makes me cringe.
Senseless_487 29
Most people don't usually drink like that. When I drink, I usually drink enough to get a healthy buzz, then stop. I don't need to be stumbling drunk.
newstart11 9
Ooh look at Ur daughter being so optimistic amen to that at least she ain't selling her body just screwin it
Thano321 6
Lol what? I'm 16 and honest with my parents, I've told them i smoke weed, and have drank. And trust me they have done as much as possible to prove to me that I shouldn't do it. Now who in the right mind is going to tell someone they didnt explore and do bad shit when they were our age. It happens, only time in life there's fun
cosmosis 12
Look out guys. We have a Badass over here!
dixiefoxx 22
I'm 16 too, and I've never done drugs, drank alcohol or anything, and neither has my best friend.
WolfGirlRin 12
I didn't explore and do bad shit. I'm 19 and haven't done any drugs (I've never even had any prescription pills of any kind) and I'm still a virgin.
mrssofchek 5
I'm 25 and can honestly say I have never smoked weed or taken any type of drug. Did not have my 1st sip of alcohol until I was 19 and even that was with adult supervision, by my choice, not because they made me. There are still people out there who don't do those things.
guitarbeast 22
31 I'm 16 and I don't brag about what substances I've done, trying to be cool.
cetlawizard 15
Only time to have fun? Wth? Just because you think it's "fun", doesn't mean it's the "RIGHT" thing to do. Drugs & alcohol are not "fun" they are things ONLY ADULTS are allowed as a privilege...NOT a child's "right" to an IMAGINED sense of "fun"...just wait til you're in juvi or grown & your child is in trouble or dead for your imagined idea of "fun" then come post your naive/ignorant/belligerent comments here.
titibug823 11
I think its time to send her ro rehab....
monnanon 13
i bet she`ll say no no no. her daddy says shes fine after all
ninjacow123 6
Alcohol is a drug...