Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, I got home from my tour of duty. The first thing my teen daughter said to me was could she have some money, because mom won’t give her anymore since she got caught using her allowance to buy weed. Not even a "Hello" or tears of joy to see me, just a demand for drug money. FML
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
I guess things could be worse?
ComoEsJuan 24
When I was fourteen, I did some crazy things, but hey, I turned out fine. Right? Didn't I turn out fine?! TELL ME I'M PRETTY!
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Comments (261)
lllgggccc 1
At least she's not doing drugs?? Alcohol is the number one DRUG problem in most countries on the planet!!!!
Bebbo_fml 21
At least you can get her help op. and change her environment that is encouraging such behaviour. Some parents are never told and find out too late.
Aweh_Olivia 13
it honestly has nothing to do with the parents nowadays. Almost every kid does drugs/ alcohol in this generation
jeepers_1 21
It does have to do with the parents, if the parents would actually discipline their children then they would be a lot less likely to do it. Not to mention I certainly have never touched drugs, and i only really drank once i was 18.
QuadZero 1
Hey, at least she's honest, right?
imAnthonyy 7
I hope I never have a daughter.
cjwise11 9
Step up its your fault for not being a good parent
DontSaveMe 16
I'm a teen and I've never, and I never will, drink, do drugs or smoke. Yes, people like me DO still exist... ANYWAY...ground her ass.
charmanderCHAR 5
Haha. Yeah, that's what I used to say when I thought I knew the world, too. You'll learn when you grow up, honey. Drugs may not be in my life, but liquor sure is.
spacedragon 4
Alcohol is a drug...
theorist3 7
Alcohol and drugs can have a major effects on a person's development especially teenagers. They are drinking and doing drugs at such a young age and they wonder why life is so hard!
jeffandjeff 22
So a 15 year old can drive thousands of pounds of steel 70 miles an hour but can't decide if he/she wants to do something potentially detrimental?
CarlosDanger 12
Alcohol is a drug....