Bored to death

By J Money - 03/09/2018 04:00 - United States

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 080
You deserved it 359
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Top comments

jbuckets_404 38

Huh? I can't tell by your grammar if you're a DoD painter, a security specialist, or both. You claim that you painted the door of a secure lab, but now you can't monitor it because of said wet paint. Thus, you have to watch said door until its paint dries. But isn't that the definition of monitoring something: watching it? Or are you referring to the active screening/ searching of personnel entering/ exiting a security access point? But yes, we get the overall idea: being paid to proverbially watch paint dry. But it IS your job to keep America safe, right (whatever that might entail)? [And thank you for your service nonetheless.]

19 2
ohsnapword 21

This is more like an FML for taxpayers.

18 4

Comments

jbuckets_404 38

Huh? I can't tell by your grammar if you're a DoD painter, a security specialist, or both. You claim that you painted the door of a secure lab, but now you can't monitor it because of said wet paint. Thus, you have to watch said door until its paint dries. But isn't that the definition of monitoring something: watching it? Or are you referring to the active screening/ searching of personnel entering/ exiting a security access point? But yes, we get the overall idea: being paid to proverbially watch paint dry. But it IS your job to keep America safe, right (whatever that might entail)? [And thank you for your service nonetheless.]

19 2
Jerry Leberer 12

since you're posting all about it, why don't you post your name, address, everything in the lab, and where its located. smh

0 3
joeyl1990 28

When I was in the Army I had to cut grass with a pair of scissors so I think you got it easy.

3 1
zuckerburg 21

Couldn't keep your mouth shut huh? Did it teach you your lesson?

3 1
ohsnapword 21

This is more like an FML for taxpayers.

18 4
Callyn 47

Why? This area needs to be secured, presumably for good reasons. They cannot secure it electronically until the paint dries, so they're spending next to nothing on a human to do the job. Would you rather that they just left the door wide open, unsecured?

3 1
ohsnapword 21

I don't think it's next to nothing because i'm assuming his time is more valuable than watching paint dry. Just imagine someone getting paid 6 figures to watch paint dry. Since this is the U.S. Government we're talking about, I wouldn't put it past them.

0 3
Callyn 47

The military budget is about $590 Billion a year. Even if this guy is making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (he's not), it's a drop in the bucket compared to how much we spend on planes that we don't need. And he's doing it for probably 24 hours max, which makes it even more of a rounding error in the military budget. Really, what do you expect the government to do, not secure a secure lab because paying someone to sit there might cost them a couple of hundred dollars?

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Jerry Leberer 12

no, its really not. it's a secured lab, someone has to watch it while the door can't be secured at the moment. can't leave it unattended. think before you type

3 0
zuckerburg 21

I'd rather watch paint dry than get shot at

10 0
awildwhisper 30

I wouldn't complain about that! Easiest job ever. You're probably being paid double digits an hour for it assuming you're getting your regular pay. Sure it's boring, but you won't be tired when you go home and you have a fun story to tell people. It's all about the stories.

4 0
cacheson 41

I think we’re missing info here. What is it that can’t happen until the paint dries?

2 0
Callyn 47

The door can't be closed, allowing them to monitor it electronically.

2 0
coolmike699 26

I think it's supposed to say "This cannot stop until the paint dries." That sentence makes more sense in context.

0 0
Isamermaid 17

I’m confused about the “this can not happen until the paint dries” part. What can’t happen?

1 0
raven_of_azarath 34

Because it has to be monitored (electronically by the door)

1 0
weaboo 12

Eh don’t worry OP it’s a boring job but you get paid for literally nothing but sitting in place so you don’t get any hard work

0 1
Nik 12

+1 for military intellegence... well.. whenever military becomes intelligent.

1 2