Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for six hours. FML
Today, I was put in charge of painting a storage shed. The company owner ordered me to paint it a shade of blue. The site manager order me to paint it red. My boss ordered green paint. FML
Today, I had to find a babysitter while I attended a mandatory work function. We were told to bring lunch and wear clothes we didn't mind getting dirty for a day of team building exercises. I guess that's what the boss calls painting the office. We don't get paid for it, and the boss is on vacation. FML
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML
Today, after being unemployed for a couple of months, I got a call back from a security job I did for a week. But with a new condition: besides the security work, one day in the week they want me to cut grass, paint and clean up the grounds for the same minimum wage. FML
Today, I don't know, I guess I'm just tired. Like everything I have done has been for nothing. Yet I can't seem to quit, it's like this is what I was meant for, to just suffer, I had absolutely nothing to do on a Thursday, All I do is go to the gym and come home, and just watch the paint dry. FML
Today, it was my last day decorating a customer's house, I had one room to paint and that was it. I sat down on the stairs to check my phone before starting and woke up four hours later to the customer shaking me to see if I was alive, and then yelling at me for getting paid to sleep. FML
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
Huh? I can't tell by your grammar if you're a DoD painter, a security specialist, or both. You claim that you painted the door of a secure lab, but now you can't monitor it because of said wet paint. Thus, you have to watch said door until its paint dries. But isn't that the definition of monitoring something: watching it? Or are you referring to the active screening/ searching of personnel entering/ exiting a security access point? But yes, we get the overall idea: being paid to proverbially watch paint dry. But it IS your job to keep America safe, right (whatever that might entail)? [And thank you for your service nonetheless.]
ohsnapword 21
This is more like an FML for taxpayers.
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Comments (23)
jbuckets_404 39
Huh? I can't tell by your grammar if you're a DoD painter, a security specialist, or both. You claim that you painted the door of a secure lab, but now you can't monitor it because of said wet paint. Thus, you have to watch said door until its paint dries. But isn't that the definition of monitoring something: watching it? Or are you referring to the active screening/ searching of personnel entering/ exiting a security access point? But yes, we get the overall idea: being paid to proverbially watch paint dry. But it IS your job to keep America safe, right (whatever that might entail)? [And thank you for your service nonetheless.]
Jerry Leberer 12
since you're posting all about it, why don't you post your name, address, everything in the lab, and where its located. smh
joeyl1990 28
When I was in the Army I had to cut grass with a pair of scissors so I think you got it easy.
zuckerburg 21
Couldn't keep your mouth shut huh? Did it teach you your lesson?
Banana49 12
calm down son
ConsistantlyFucked 12
at least you got scissors
ohsnapword 21
This is more like an FML for taxpayers.
Callyn 47
Why? This area needs to be secured, presumably for good reasons. They cannot secure it electronically until the paint dries, so they're spending next to nothing on a human to do the job. Would you rather that they just left the door wide open, unsecured?
ohsnapword 21
I don't think it's next to nothing because i'm assuming his time is more valuable than watching paint dry. Just imagine someone getting paid 6 figures to watch paint dry. Since this is the U.S. Government we're talking about, I wouldn't put it past them.
Callyn 47
The military budget is about $590 Billion a year. Even if this guy is making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (he's not), it's a drop in the bucket compared to how much we spend on planes that we don't need. And he's doing it for probably 24 hours max, which makes it even more of a rounding error in the military budget. Really, what do you expect the government to do, not secure a secure lab because paying someone to sit there might cost them a couple of hundred dollars?
Jerry Leberer 12
no, its really not. it's a secured lab, someone has to watch it while the door can't be secured at the moment. can't leave it unattended. think before you type
zuckerburg 21
I'd rather watch paint dry than get shot at
awildwhisper 30
I wouldn't complain about that! Easiest job ever. You're probably being paid double digits an hour for it assuming you're getting your regular pay. Sure it's boring, but you won't be tired when you go home and you have a fun story to tell people. It's all about the stories.
cacheson 42
I think we’re missing info here. What is it that can’t happen until the paint dries?
Callyn 47
The door can't be closed, allowing them to monitor it electronically.
coolmike699 26
I think it's supposed to say "This cannot stop until the paint dries." That sentence makes more sense in context.
Isamermaid 17
I’m confused about the “this can not happen until the paint dries” part. What can’t happen?
raven_of_azarath 35
The door can’t close.
raven_of_azarath 35
Because it has to be monitored (electronically by the door)
Jerry Leberer 12
sounds right
weaboo 12
Eh don’t worry OP it’s a boring job but you get paid for literally nothing but sitting in place so you don’t get any hard work
Nik 12
+1 for military intellegence... well.. whenever military becomes intelligent.