Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
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Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
elmatador615 12
I hate public restrooms so much
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Comments (110)
jdizz16 16
Count your blessings, OP. You were able to make it to the bathroom before your bowels exploded, and it was just some lame coworker and wasn't some hot chick you were trying to date that heard you.
FML_Elle 17
This is why I wait in the stall until the public restroom is completely empty to take a dump
ChristianH39 30
Maybe if op wasn't rushing to the bathroom with an explosive case of the ***** that would've worked. Not always possible
tymarie2012 31
The coworker walked in after op. So my guess is that the restroom was empty when he walked in.
James_is_Mexican 25
Whats wrong with taking a crap? People have no respect...
RedPillSucks 31
While I agree with your sentiment, I don't think "respect" and "crap" go naturally together
Rodville 28
I don't get why everyone freaks out about the bathroom. Everyone poops. It's a natural bodily function. People need to get over themselves.
perdix 29
You need to hide in the stall until your ass goes quiet for several minutes. Then, go up to an unsuspecting co-worker and loudly ask, "Do you need some Pepto-Bismol?"
ilovefall10 21
What, does your co-worker think that nobody has gas?
seprunner 12
While you were dumping you should have yelled "IT'S OVER 9000!!!"
ileenefudge 29
What?
ccdude14 4
Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? (varies by translation) Its a Dragonball Z meme
PenguinBitch 43
Maybe he didn't mind your gas leak, but rather, the symphony of said farts.
RedPillSucks 31
Needs more cow bells.... Maybe he was expecting Beethoven, and got Prokofiev
invalid240 9
"Arse Symphony"
Ihavegas 22
nothing beats a good bm. the toilet cubicle is your space. a courtesy flush would be perfect in these situations. but **** it let it rip!!