Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
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Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and a few coworkers when my stomach started growling. It was nearly lunchtime and I guess I was hungry. I tried to play it off like it was just a passing rumble, but it wouldn't stop. Eventually, my boss asked if I needed to use the restroom. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
elmatador615 12
I hate public restrooms so much
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Comments (110)
Robert1989 9
That's shitty op hope things look up at work.
CupOfCoffee 14
I'm sorry but "arse symphony" made me laugh really hard. FYL though.
roohiialjii 0
the choice of words is amusing,,,, lol
Ben009 13
Next time crop dust his work area, obviously to him the bathroom isn't the right place so try another.
sempiternal80816 9
I'm sorry, but that's hilarious! "Arse Symphony" what are you, 55?? Kids these days say "Ass."
Coeliacchic93 21
but his donkey wasn't having diarrhea...
FlyingPie 17
Cornhole tornado
sirspankalot 11
I feel for ya, but you should read the reviews on amazon for Haribo sugarless gummi bears. Their travails will mostly make you feel better about yours.
mylast 6
Humans shit, has been like that since the beginning of time. Sounds like your co-worker needs to grow up, maybe for x-mas get him one of those children book everyone poops sounds like it's right in his age group.
Coeliacchic93 21
digestive issues are horrible. it's enough being in pain and having to deal with it yourself but other people's reactions are terrible!
Twinn4ever 13
hopefully he didn't know who you were