Intimacy: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 728

You deserved it 2 764

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 438

You deserved it 5 571

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 214

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 220

You deserved it 4 269

Dude walked into a porno…

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 17:59

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 158

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 321

You deserved it 3 736

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 218

You deserved it 4 162

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 6 237

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 5 075

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 624

You deserved it 4 986

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 121

jector25 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:36

That sucks n I would shank them

Maxine17 8

Monday 26 October 2009 19:56

D: That's awful Burn them both.

Comments

noisebox 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 21:43

You have jumped in and made it a family affair!

gutlessbooch 0

Saturday 9 June 2012 15:21

Pics or it didn't happen.

herpderpherpderp 13

Thursday 27 September 2012 13:13

gcbjhfd

krisanda 5

Monday 3 December 2012 1:05

........damn....

alchemist27 13

Saturday 16 February 2013 18:43

There's knives in the kitchen

blackwidowtaco 31

Thursday 22 August 2013 0:50

Def time to kick his sorry ass out.

paparoachgirl 6

Sunday 20 October 2013 14:46

This sounds like an episode of Snapped in the making. Honestly that's terrible op. I hope you move on and never talk to your sister and him again

grumpy94533 11

Tuesday 17 December 2013 11:54

Sorry dear. They are both scum :(

crystalxa 35

Monday 24 March 2014 17:53

omg OP that is so sad! men are pigs!

bobdlawr 8

Friday 17 October 2014 6:11

I think it's time to call that one friend and tell them to bring a case of beer and a shovel

paolino_fml 18

Tuesday 21 October 2014 15:55

They're British girls it doesn't work for them

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Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 415

You deserved it 4 872

Today, I learned that asking your boss, “Am I gonna get paid extra?” when he asks that you chip in for your co-worker-who-just quit’s duties is not an appropriate response. In fact, I was written up for “insubordination” and “inability to be a team player.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 150

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 471

You deserved it 5 053

Today, my husband threw a fit because I dyed my hair bright magenta. Funny, I actually dyed it three days ago. He literally just noticed. Shows how much attention he pays me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 275

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 2 382

Today, for the third time this month, my family ridiculed me for being picky for ordering a burger without lettuce. They know I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 196