Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Well make sure u dont save his life if he ever needs the help...
Il_Maestro 6
What a waste of soda
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
sillyjonjon 4
Free drink!
perdix 31
Maintaining order at the pool and establishing your dominance is an emergency. Giving that pimply-faced brat a public beat-down is imperative for you to show everyone the rules will be followed!
stormchaser24 24
Well better soda than something else like pee
Pandacupcakelove 26
Oh well, what goes around comes around... That boy is going to get it from karma now!
jweezy89 4
You do understand that isn't how karma works right? And for all the stupid people who blame karma for everything, good karma is a negative as well. The goal is to die with neutral karma. That is the only way to move on and escape the cycle.
Pandacupcakelove 26
57- Yawn.
downtime 13
-1 Karma points to you 60. Looks like you're gonna get hit by a car in the next 20 seconds because you're too stupid to actually listen to someone who bothered to do the research.
kitkat2014 6
I agree with 34 (the OP of the comment). That kid was very disrespectful and he has higher sources with worse consequences to worry about than karma. Karma is a theory. NOT a fact of life. Not everyone believes in it and some people see it differently. The fact that you tried to research and educate someone about a theory doesn't make you some master theologian. SO CALM DOWN.
downtime 13
...So you're saying I shouldn't expect to be corrected if I start saying its evolution that humans are a result of a giant orgy of all the animals, because evolution is a theory and "some people see it differently"? No, you go around saying a word without actually knowing what it means then you should expect to be corrected. The response she gave however made it sufficiently evident that she is just a dumbass.
hockeyoceancity 13
You should of waited till he went to lay down and when he closes his eyes sneak behide him and blow your whistle as loud as you can in his ear, when he stands up to yell at you prepare your water gun that you put soda in and shoot him down!
ohSNAPyall 27
Hopefully not. A lifeguard is probably orange enough.
reddudeover 2
That was an emergency. That kid needed an emergency beat down!
pinkalicious224 7
You shouldering on him lol
ArrickMorris 4
I work as a guard too. I once told a 30 year old maintenance guy he couldn't dive and e tried to fight me for being a racist. Thankfully my bosses are lenient and I was aloud to get up haha
ArrickMorris 4
He*
peachyFML 17
*allowed
ArrickMorris 4
Thanks haha I have horrible spelling
AxFETUSxFARMER 0
I would've probably threw the kid into the pool if he did that to me