Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
Hahaha the weirdest stuff happen in public bathrooms.
yayforcheesecake 0
you were inside a toilet?
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Comments (95)
jonathanpwns 0
It was funny. You know you wanted to laugh but it would have bewn awquard to be laughing while your taking a shit.
IphonFML 6
atleast he had good aim?
I_R_Genius 3
What is this 'bewn' and 'awquard' you speak of?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Seeing as though you're from New Zealand, a little piss on your pants is the least of your worries at the moment
ComMed1 0
why were you in the toilet to begin with?
Gabbymcbride 2
Uh it says he was peeing? Get your facts straight.
OceanBreathesSal 5
54 most guys use the urinal to pee, not the toilet.
tattortotamus 0
most guys don't sit when they pee..
jesss_x 0
most people don't sit IN the toilet.
jesss_x 0
also, it doesn't say he was sitting. the water balloon would be less likely to make it in the toilet if he was sitting.
byron17 26
maybe he hadn't crapped yet...
auzzrage 1
haha poor you :P you get paid out whole day?
sweet_candy_ 17
Hahaha the weirdest stuff happen in public bathrooms.
sydharks 0
So true! Some girl I've never met asked me my sexuality in a public bathroom
yayforcheesecake 0
you were inside a toilet?
auzzrage 1
this was so stupid but it made me laugh :D
BWill9014 4
Weird wording OP chose
Kukua 5
Many other countries refer to the bathroom as the toilet. it's not weird wording just because they don't speak exactly like Americans.
JustinThunder 8
No, no, no. He clearly states that he is in fact, IN a toilet.
TheFlyingMan 8
Dry
firegecko123 0
this is exactly what I was thinking.
LiveLauglove 0
that's what I thought! like WTF! you mean you were sitting on the toilet? haha
SpaceMannn 0
well shorts don't take 4 hours to dry..so it's not all bad, just saying.
Moo_Horse 0
but theres the pee smell that stays
skyttlz 32
You were IN the toilet?
milakitty21 0
I go IN the toilet all the time. makes for a better experience.
siggaelsa 4
well they would dry but still smell like pee. I would recken going comando
shoopd 19
*Reckon *Commando Spellcheck or dictionary.com, you should read about them.
OCDC 9
Going commando means going without underwear. I fail to see how that will help OP...
bizzylizzy 0
classic :)
Red_Eyed 3
heeey :)
jburd45 1
I would've beat the living shit outa those fools
ElectricGhost_fml 5
I would have been sooooo mad!!! sorry that happened!! -_-