Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, a guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said, "Oh shit, I forgot my wallet!" and walked off. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
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Top comments
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Well make sure u dont save his life if he ever needs the help...
Il_Maestro 6
What a waste of soda
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Comments (71)
Jasonf6 0
Kicking his ass sure sounds like an emergency to me.
Chazyj 4
Being a life guard as well this is where you get your manager and remove his ass from the pool
MariaNewbill 1
Hmmm that's weird I'm a lifeguard and were allowed to move about the the pool deck as long as we're watching the pool....
shireman13 0
Hey everybody, go watch my video on YouTube called "kid jumps out of pool" it should be the 7th option down and posted by shireman1997....... I assure it will bring many laughs
ergo_fml 13
Must be what Snooki tans with...
CanadianCutie22 16
thats horrible ! I'd be pissed
beastiness 14
YDI I work as a lifeguard and if someone breaks a rule we kick them out, you didn't do anything so quit your bitching
Lionesse 15
You are stupid as **** and clearly know nothing about guest/employee relations. You can't blow up at a guest, and depending where you work, some places are super strict about leaving stand. If you were a proper Lifeguard, you would know that. GTFO.
beastiness 14
I was referring to an incident similar to the OPs if something like that happened they'd get kicked out and I'm quite familiar with how to deal with people in those situations cause it happens a lot, before you go talking shit think that other may know a little more about what their talking about then you do
Lionesse 15
Clearly, you still don't get it through that thick head of yours.. and I quote you sir.. "Quit your bitching" Last time I checked, the OP wasn't bitching. You can't kick out guests in certain places unless a supervisor or shift leader witnessed the incident. The guest could pull the whole my word against the guards because in the end, the establishment doesn't want to lose money. Why don't you stop bitching and find out what it feels like to be a guard. And you clearly don't know how to handle situations like that if your first idea in your head was to tell the guard to stop bitching
beastiness 14
I was referring to writing an fml about a bad day at work when there was clearly something he could have don't about the situation, granted rules are different in different places but if you sit there and do absolutely nothing ( he could have at least called another guard to come handle it ) he loses his right to complain. We all have bad days at work, don't need to be reading fmls about something that could have easily been fixed
lander26 0
Your retarded. You need to beat that kid senseless.
Lionesse 15
Sorry I feel ya. Guests are jerks. I just got of Lifeguarding today and some snot-nosed kid called me a ***** for asking him to stop making waves since there was a baby behind him.. Little runts =_=
tim240_fml 4
Not all of them... There are a few annoying people out there.
Lionesse 15
109, Yeah. You are right. But the one thing that sucks about being a Waterpark Lifeguard is that you basically babysit. The kids parents are usually the ones who can be unbearable
Lionesse 15
Off* (Caught my spelling error ha)
katiemac18 2
I'm a lifeguard I'm assuming it's an outdoor pool? Since there shouldn't be pop or food in,out and around the pool
loyeah 10
perhaps op works on a beach (?)
hockeyoceancity 13
Lmfao... No. i'm pretty sure you are allowed to run on a beach.