Health, Movies and Intimacy: Stealthy

Stealthy

By ohdear - 31/10/2011 15:38 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 081

You deserved it 5 379

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Same thing different taste

Way too smooth

By Stud - 30/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 387

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 340

You deserved it 8 738

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 532

You deserved it 18 721

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 771

You deserved it 2 532

Showtime!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 09:00

Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 5 473

Popped

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 837

You deserved it 45 500

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 761

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 899

You deserved it 61 171

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 308

You deserved it 5 393

ndnpride88 25

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Man that's disgusting

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Like a ninja

Comments

CaliforniaBabe90 0

Monday 31 October 2011 21:45

Whoo changes their pad in the movie theatre , got to the restroom !

lucyinthesky420 10

Monday 31 October 2011 21:47

LOL. Talent. And I'll pass on the popcorn..

TheBigHater 2

Monday 31 October 2011 21:47

Bro u couldn't even tell her to wash her hands?

irritatedone 5

Monday 31 October 2011 21:52

Dude I totally would have dumped her right there in the theatre. Just got up and walked out.

LiL_Dub 2

Monday 31 October 2011 22:01

Was it really that hard to go to the bathroom? Gross

FTW4335 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:07

Dump her ass.

kzalone 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:10

Thats gross.

brainwash 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:11

siahbean 1

Monday 31 October 2011 22:12

That is ******* gross. Whats wrong with your gf dude?

IceCreamMage 17

Monday 31 October 2011 22:13

Meanwhile in Australia... Why date a bogan then dude?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend met my mom. He was curious as to how my mom had a better ass than mine when she was twice my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 120

You deserved it 1 122

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 088

You deserved it 45 451

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 975

You deserved it 3 801

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 248

You deserved it 55 185

Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 264