Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML
Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML
Today, I tried to quietly open a bag of chips during a movie. The bag made so much noise that people turned around to stare. When I finally got it open, I dropped the entire bag on the floor and chips scattered down the aisle. FML
Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ndnpride88 25
Man that's disgusting
instnt1nfction 17
Like a ninja
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (636)
patrickalamo 48
That is one nasty ho
VioletSkies 21
That is disgusting! Couldn't she have changed it before or after the movie? She could have excused herself during the movie if she had to do it then. Now it is in her purse... ew. >.< That is horrible hygiene
ridewarrior 0
at least it wasn't a tampon..
Iffyy 6
That actually might have been the lesser of the two evils in this case...
letsgetouttahere 3
What the absolute ****. USE THE BATHROOM.
melibell99 0
WTF that is the most disgusting thing ever,,,,
01fuckhead10 14
what the hell, if I may ask, is wrong with your chick..
Meme1988 18
WTF!!! Im a girl, i would NEVER do such a thing! OMG
manders77 2
Can you trashy??
GingerNinja 18
that's so gross!! what girl does that?!?!
HomeAl0ne 20
That's nothing. Once I saw a person with a head cold take a lovely piece of fine linen, hold it up to their nose and blow a huge wad of greenish mucous into it. They then folded the cloth up and put it back in their pocket, like it was something precious!!
hoofbeats 0
That's call a hanky/hankie. Choose your spelling. My dad used to have one, and it always got washed every day.
JinxosGirl87 0
Not as bad as the customer I served who blew their nose in their sleeve, rolled the snotty part up, then touches everything!