Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
aKaClickZ 4
At least it wasn't lit on fire
sniken 14
I doubt the dog did it all by herself...
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Comments (111)
spikekutter 9
this reminds me of a southpark episode..
whinthy 18
Did you forget to take your dog for a walk ?
angiodave 6
At least the poop wasn't on fire for you to "stamp out"!!!
ben827 10
Ain't that some shit.
likan_fml 14
Wat a load of crap
harman944 4
Bitch it was me
bigt529 4
they couldve had the wrong person....
kalbrek009 20
I'm going to say that at least it was from a dog and not another human...on the other hand, if it had been human..you could have saved it for DNA testing. That shit would give away the ownership of the shitter.
jlarae12 10
Sounds like crap OP. just walk outside and take a nice whiff of the great outdoors :)
lowshadows 21
shit bout to get real.