Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
The irony here is that if you hadn't wasted time with the TP seat cover, you would have been done and out of the bathroom before the bump.
Rok_fml 0
I hate public toilets D:
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Comments (132)
thequeenofscots 0
Actually, you have hardly any chance of getting a disease from your butt having contact with a normal toilet seat. Unless you rub your orifices vigourously over the surface of the toilet seat, you have a very small chance of getting something. It's been proven that you get more disease from using the doorhandle out of the bathroom. However, you'll get a shitload of diseases by being splashed by shit.
G_Bug 0
Learn to flush -_-
G_Bug 0
#29 Popop? (arrested development lol)
mk1o3o 0
u come for the marathon?
xHaniffax 0
WHY WOULD YOU USE THE TOILET ON A BUS?! unless you were dying but STILL ewww
samannham 0
Why didn't you flush it before, it's noticeable on those buses. I've been on them, it's empty if it's flushed when you use it....so YDI
kwbuzz23wk 0
learn the sitting squat! (hover) that is common sense, if you would have learned it you could have been out by the time you covered it with the toilet paper. YDI
alexdz 0
I've ridden a bus from Columbia, MO, to San Antonio, TX, and none of the six buses in our convoy had flush toilets. And with a bus bouncing around like it does, you would NEVER want to pee standing up or you'd get it everywhere!
wowfmlife 0
Red sox>yankees
tinkerbella_fml 0
If I have to use a public bathroom, IF. I always stand up, I have mastered that