Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
The irony here is that if you hadn't wasted time with the TP seat cover, you would have been done and out of the bathroom before the bump.
Rok_fml 0
I hate public toilets D:
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Comments (132)
so_me_fml 0
Numbers 2 and 4 are the bomb dot com. I thought I was the only one in the world who doesn't think it's deadly to sit on a potty that other people have sat on. I mean, if there are seat covers provided, I'll definitely use one, but seriously, we all got booties.
Milkinade 0
Hahahahahaha! Oh, I'm so sorry for you! But damn, you can't resist a good poop joke!
Sessee 4
You sound like a prude. YDI.
jazminbliss 2
hahahaa. Ive never thought of that happening. More of the fact that I would go flying into a wall (Which has happened, many times) when we hit a bump. lol. ew fyl
silentshout 0
godd dammit so gross , I hate it even when that happens on my own crap
heeystefi_fml 0
why wouldnt you just flush the toilet before you go? thats alwaays the first thing i do
tinkerbell67 0
that SUCKS. i'm sorry. and 99 and anyone else who asked that, it was probably a porta-potty type thing.
bi_chick 0
eww, just. . . eww
Alexxx_Anarchist 0
Congratulations! You have AIDS.
scorpio_fml 0
imagine what would have happened if you were a guy, and peeing now THAT would have been gross