Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
succubuzz 3
It actually could be a method of birth control, as kicking him in the balls will break the barrier between developing semen and white blood cells. The white blood cells will see the semen as foreign objects and will attack them. Too much damage to the balls can cause infertility...but you should probably just use a condom.
brendokendo 0
Actually it is. And not to mention its The worst spot to get hit. But yes if you kick a man hard enough in his jewels, then he won't be able to make babies. A mans genitalia is very delicate and should be treated with care. Haha
cariana 6
Good luck having kids
robert76 5
Not just birth control. The pain from getting hit there is so intense, that it's possible for it to kill. If hit hard enough, it can cause a man to go into neurogenic shock and die. A quick google search found 10 cases of men dying from being kicked in the nuts.
argybargy 3
The point being, when (not if) you kick him in the onions, MAKE SURE IT COUNTS.
token_blackguy 18
Just enjoy kicking him in the balls. And for the love if humanity. DO NOT be the one who proves him wrong.
cayytee 0
tell him youll be happy to give him his "birth control" today
jlperry31 10
Then everyday before sex kick him him the balls and just keep up ur pill and let him know u just want to be safe from diseases so still need a rubber
motoxraceman2345 1
Have a rocket scientist there.
SoultheWolf 19
Take the opportunity to kick him in the balls as many times as possible before dumping his stupid ass.
aron666 25
So...give him some birth control, see if he likes it.